Top 5 weirdest crime reports of 2018: A pig-tail tryst and an undies-grabbing ghost

Here at the Cop Shop we run across our share of curious occurrences, and 2018 generated plenty. Today we rank the year’s five zaniest incidents from area police reports and courtrooms:

5. A Macon woman kicked in an apartment door near Henderson Stadium in January because a man refused to give her beer. “She then,” a Bibb County sheriff’s report said, “walked next door and kicked that door in.” A sheriff’s deputy went next door and found the woman in a back room on a mattress. She said she was drunk. In her haze, the deputy’s report noted, she said she was “looking around for her onion rings.”

4. In February, a woman was yelling “at the top of her lungs” at an east Macon McDonald’s one night because she wanted breakfast for dinner. She got arrested instead. A sheriff’s report said the woman, 29, wanted a steak biscuit “that they were currently not serving.” She was told that steak biscuits would not be served until 5 a.m. She and a restaurant employee soon came to blows. Punches were thrown and both women were arrested. On the way to jail, the employee explained why she had fought back: “Somebody come on my job and mess with me, I do what I gotta do.”

3. A woman cussing at the corner of Ingleside and Rogers avenues in Macon one spring day told a Bibb sheriff’s deputy she was waiting for her bus and “preaching the (expletive) Gospel,” a report of the March 24 encounter said. She told the deputy that “it wasn’t (expletive) you can do about it!” Another deputy was called to help lock her up when she resisted and pinched the deputies. After she was handcuffed, she said, “I’m not going to jail. … The last time y’all took me y’all stole my brand-new wig.”

2. A Putnam County man called the sheriff’s department to report that a pair of his Hanes underwear by his bed had been mysteriously moved. He was certain they had been put there by someone — or some entity — because before leaving home one day in June he had, for whatever reason, arranged his underwear in such a way that if they had been moved he would know. The man figured someone may have broken in, but sheriff Howard Sills said the man “also suspected the perpetrator was a ghost.”

1. A husband squealed on his wife in Macon divorce court in October, telling a judge that he was sure his wife had been unfaithful. According to the husband, the wife had at some point prepared a pot of pig tails, which another man had swung by to pick up. The husband couldn’t believe the suspected pork-seeking interloper had the gall to drop in at his domicile and accept such delicacies. “Any woman,” the husband reportedly said, “that will cook a man a mess of pig tails is doing more than cooking for him.”

Note to midstate law enforcement agencies: Email reports of unusual situations your officers encounter to Telegraph reporter and Cop Shop columnist Joe Kovac Jr. at jkovac@macon.com.

This story was originally published December 24, 2018 at 10:32 AM.