COUPLING: Embrace your partner's flaws ... and pay your taxes

Tax day is coming and we all have the joy of participating in this great republic. I'm sure that you greet the opportunity with ambivalence, like I do.

Who wants to write a check and send it to Uncle Sam? Practically no one - that's why payroll deductions and sales taxes work so well. And we accept it because it's what works best. We are the greatest nation and paying taxes and voting allow for the privileges we enjoy.

Like I said, it's great, but it's not easy. We can argue about the fairness of taxes and who pays what. Voting choices on the local and national levels leave much to be desired. But of all the choices, we choose to hang with Lady Liberty and our good Uncle Sam.

Another example of national cooperation never stops. Old and young, rich and poor work together on roads and interstates. With a little willingness and few basic rules, millions of travelers give and take, brake and accelerate. We all just happily move along heading toward all manner of events.

Coupling is the same way; we cooperate happily moving toward our destination. Paying taxes, interstate driving and coupling have odd similarities. We like the benefits - no, we love the benefits - but we want to argue about the details, government waste, slow traffic and, "How much did you pay for that?"

We got our tax bill the other day. It was a shocker! Wow, I didn't know I loved my country so much.

The wife and I had a creative opportunity to consider our income and expenditure choices. Money can be difficult to talk about. I hear lots of ways that couples manage money. How do you do it? Does it work?

The key ingredient for us is to talk. We have to communicate. It's the go-to answer in all things coupling. Add in some understanding and a pinch of sacrifice and things will work out fine.

My daddy used to misquote a Bible verse. He'd say, "money is the root of all evil and a very present help in time of need." He was great at teasing out the complex dualities and fragile adjustments we make in life.

Money may be just money, but it may also represent power and freedom. Both of these qualities can be found and encouraged in a healthy relationship, but they are also qualities that can be controlled or restrained in unhealthy coupling.

I won't say money is dirty - it is. What I will say is it should never be divisive. Sharing, personal responsibility and service - each of these qualities can be learned and practiced around the conundrum of money as we learn to grow closer together.

Smile and write the check. In other words, love your partner - flaws and all - and enjoy the ride.

Bruce Conn is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and works with individuals and couples. Contact him at Bruce@BruceConn.com or call 478-742-1464.

This story was originally published April 9, 2016 at 7:58 PM with the headline "COUPLING: Embrace your partner's flaws ... and pay your taxes ."