I got a strange letter in the mail. It looked like an upside down capital G.
But when I rotated it on its vertical axis, it turned out to be a regular capital G.
Gee, I wondered, what's this for?
So I looked it up:
1. used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced.
Pronoun? Who could be pronoun? The noun is the gentry fop of language. Being pronoun is like being pro-IRS.
By the way, did you know that internal revenue service is what surgeons call organs they operate on?
It's true. Look it up. Never mind, I'll do your work for you:
1. used to refer to a thing previously mentioned or easily identified.
More pronoun! Those people, places and things things are all over the place, people.
(Editor's Note: Is this column ever ...)
I'm. Getting. There.
Anyway, before I was so rudely interrogatived, I was about to say that I am nearing the end of "Language Visible: Unraveling the Mystery of the Alphabet from A to Z" by David Sacks.
The book traces the history of each letter -- describing changes in physical shape, use in spelling and pronunciation.
It's taken me a while to read it. The title alone took a month to get through.
But I'm in no hurry. Mrs. Cool Kid said she'd be ready to go in five minutes, so I've got until the heat-death of 12 universes to read some more.
I just finished the T chapter.
I'm on to U.
That's right, slick. I'm wise to your acres.
To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email email@example.com.