THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Most novels aren't that novel

There are so many kinds of novels. I started a list:

Funny.

Serious.

Seriously?

Main character is just like me -- if I were taller, less witty and could head-butt without bashing my own brains out.

"Catch-22."

Starts with a description of the weather.

Starts interestingly, i.e.: doesn't mention the weather.

The ABC of science fiction: Asimov, Bester, Clarke (Martin is aware of Bradbury's work).

Yawn.

Whoa!

Woe.

Woeful.

Man, there sure are a lot of serial killers in Minnesota.

A gawky, misunderstood boy with precocious writing gift survives hillbilly childhood, grows up to become novelist who writes much-praised book about a gawky, misunderstood boy who dies of hillbillyitis before his precocious writing gift can become much-praised. Author is usually a putz.

Not Stephen King.

Stephen King.

Not as good as 1970s Stephen King.

Fourth book of a trilogy.

The killer is helpful neighbor or good-listener co-worker.

Steaming pile of consciousness.

The next one.

Got spaceships.

Got no spaceships.

Could use spaceships.

Seems familiar.

Jack Vance.

Ancient history private eyes, mostly Roman.

Page-turner.

Mind-blower.

Trash-canner.

You can't change the past.

The future is dreary.

Used -- Acceptable.

Seventh book of a trilogy.

Too long.

Has a character named Nick.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published February 20, 2016 at 4:52 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Most novels aren't that novel ."