THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Love of books, books of love

It's Valentine's Day. That means it's time for a look at romance novels.

Looks like time's up. Sorry, all you Donna Wands.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with romance novels. Not legally. They're just not my cup of tease.

Valentine's isn't a day for reading, anyway. It's a day for standing outside in the cold waiting for Target to open.

Either that or ... well, you'll find out in the last paragraph.

Military techno thrillers are the male version of romance novels. The two are a natural pair. Like yin-yang, zig-zag, heebie-jeebie and spicy-mustard.

Romance novels are ... hold on. I need to check the beginning of the column. Hmmm. That's what I thought. I said time's up for looking at romance novels. And here I am still bantering on about them in my trademark wittyTM way.

Since I'm this far in, might as well keep going.

Can someone put on some Stylistics?

Oh. Now I'm in the mood.

Of all the books I've read, the most romantic was "The Forever War" by Joe Haldeman. It's about two soldiers who, while fighting a war against bug aliens, try to keep their relationship alive despite interstellar time dilation.

Love, Einstein-style.

Keep your seats, please. I know you're impressed. I know I just gave you a military techno thriller and romance novel rolled into one. But standing ovations just slow the proceedings down.

I would like to thank the academy, though.

Did you know if you take the first letter of each paragraph in this column and string them together they spell out a special Valentine's Day message? 'Tis true.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published February 13, 2016 at 3:16 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Love of books, books of love ."