THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Like people I know, some philosophy works are dense

I read Schopenhauer's "The World as Will and Representation" the other day.

EDITOR'S NOTE: No, you didn't.

I was about to read Schopenhauer's "The World as Will and Representation" the other day.

EDITOR'S NOTE: No, you weren't.

I read about Schopenhauer's "The World as Will and Representation" the other day. (Does that meet your servile standards, Ms. Truthie St. McTruthdottir?)

EDITOR'S NOTE: Help me out here, Cool Kid, since you're so good with grammar. Is it lay or liar?

You know what? Katherine Walden has a nice little rose bed of a column next door. Why don't you go trample on it?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Waul your cater elsewhere.

Oh yeah? Well, catalytic converter this: If you were a car, you'd be the front two-thirds of a BMW.

I believe I have prevailed. Now, I put you from my mind and suggest you look up the word "coccydynia" as I reoccupy my column.

While reading about Schopenhauer's "The World as Will and Representation" the other day, I realized that it had been a long time since I had partaken analytical in a work philosophical.

Decades, in fact.

EDITOR'S NOTE: "Oh, the Places You'll Go" doesn't count.

Never, in fact.

I was close twice. Many years ago, a girl I dated (based on carbon half-life, I put her at circa 1200 BCE) gave me a copy of Sartre's "Being and Nothingness."

"It'll make you doubt everything you believe," she told me.

"I doubt it," I said.

At which point it seemed pointless to read froggy's 24,000-page brick.

The other time was when ...

It sure got quiet all of a sudden. You still there?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Huh? Oh, sorry. "Mulamadhamakakarika" is so engrossing.

Knickers keelhaul copper pajamas when?

EDITOR'S NOTE: "Mulamadhamakakarika." It's Nagarjuna's discourse on Buddhist substantialism.

No, you aren't.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published January 16, 2016 at 9:48 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Like people I know, some philosophy works are dense ."