THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: I didn't see that one coming

I sometimes -- if it's raining -- cover a judge with a book. I always -- rain or schneid -- judge a book by its cover.

I'm a rebel. I'm Samuel Adams. The Samuel Adams that was only 63-percent liquid, not the ones at Pump 'N Peel.

Speaking of which -- in a (distantly) related note -- Mrs. Cool Kid is the one that keeps our car tank full.

I pass gas stations, therefore.

Back to the narrative proper.

I took it off the shelf at the bookstore. The title was "The Company of the Dead."

On the front, in shades of blue, was an image of an old-school passenger ship -- with the Statue of Liberty looming above it and an iceberg reflected below.

At the bottom left was a blurb:

"Kowalski effortlessly smashes together high art and grand adventure in this alt-hist juggernaut."

I flipped it over. I'm wary of reading plot descriptions on the backs of novels. I don't want to know too much. So I just scan those things.

In big type was this: Can one man save the Titanic?

There were about a dozen lines in smaller type under that, beginning with: March 1912. A mysterious man appears aboard the Titanic on its doomed voyage, his mission to save the ship.

That's all I needed to know. Alt-hist plus mysterious man meant time travel.

Oh, yeah.

I was pumped. I paid. I peeled.

I was a couple of blocks down Riverside Drive when I remembered Mrs. Cool Kid. I turned the car around and peeled for all I was worth.

You would think when I got back to the bookstore, she'd be happy to see me. No. Not happy. Not the happy I grew up with.

Being shunned gave me time to read. It was a long book. I checked. It was 750 pages. That made sense. It surely takes considerable derring-do to reverse such an infamous fate. Many obstacles surely lay in our hero's way.

On page two, the time traveler gave the Titanic's lookout a pair of modern binoculars.

On page three, the lookout spotted the notorious iceberg. He signaled the bridge. Tragedy was averted.

Uh ...

What?

But ...

Hmmm.

I heard pitter-patter on the tin roof that we'll pretend I have. And since I now had some 747 pages of free time, I grabbed the book and headed to the courthouse.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published January 9, 2016 at 8:09 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: I didn't see that one coming ."