COUPLING: Holy days, holy Scripture and holy matrimony

Sundays are special. So special that it made the list of the big 10 -- commandments that is. As a day of worship and rest, we remember the Sabbath to keep it holy.

Special times need to be special, to be set apart.

Holy Scripture is that way. Columnist Bill Cummings calls us to consider what we mean when we speak about inspired or holy writings.

We are in the middle of a season when we take days off to celebrate momentous times. We call these "the holidays." What makes them holidays, or more accurately holy days, is the way we set them apart.

Now, they may be special in different ways to different people, but that makes them no less special. Christmas Eve is no New Year's Eve, but they are both important in their own ways.

Marriage is a set-apart model of relationship. Friendships and blood relationships can be equally significant, but the distinctive relationship of one committed to another for the purposes of devotion and love carries a different weight.

These words are marriage ceremony language: "Since marriage is an appointment of God, it is to be entered into reverently and discreetly, as in his sight."

Holy matrimony calls for a lifetime commitment. Even a civil commitment done at the courthouse intends a distinctive union.

We've got Sundays, holidays, holy Scripture and holy matrimony. What does holy mean? In short, holy means different. It means different from other things like it. We've got seven days, but Sunday is different. Lots of good writings, but Scripture is different. And we've got relationships, but marriage is different.

So what do you do with something that is holy? You treat it special; you honor and appreciate it. You keep it in your heart, thoughts and actions different than other parts of your life.

Holy matrimony creates a space for union that pushes away doubt and fear -- at least it can. A committed relationship tests us and proves us in a refining fire that allows our best selves to come to the front. But we have to do the work to keep it special, to keep it sacred.

I love how Cummings is so honest and courageous with Scripture. We would all do well to practice this same dedication in our coupling. Cummings knows that God and the Scriptures can withstand his questioning.

This is a little scary for us in the relational world.

We are not as confident here. We cautiously tiptoe around the challenges of our coupling. And, I guess, lots of times we should. But, what if we believed so deeply and held our committed relationship so faithfully that no amount of questioning could shake it? Wow, we would have strong, fearless relationships.

Remember in your coupling to keep it holy.

Bruce Conn is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and works with individuals and couples. Contact him at Bruce@BruceConn.com or call 478-742-1464.

This story was originally published January 2, 2016 at 4:27 PM with the headline "COUPLING: Holy days, holy Scripture and holy matrimony ."