THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: A furry Christmas hero delivers the goods

Once again, to gig all those who say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," I present a Yuletide tune in other words.

RUDOLPH, THE RED-NOSED REINDEER

Perchance one is aware of Booker along with Two-Step Aztec in addition to Lightfoot plus Harpy,

Asteroid supplementary to Bo teamed with Cannibal not to forget Drunk Uncle Kappy,

However, can anyone call to mind

An uttermost illustrious snowshoe hare amongst its kind?

Sigmund, nicknamed Scarlet-Whiffered Snowshoe Hare,

Possessed this ridiculously gleaming whiffer

Those fated to notice the aforementioned honker

Gave sworn testimony that, in fact, the proboscis in question shone

Every single loser snowshoe hare

Would cackle while defaming our hero

And deny Sigmund, who earned minimum wage,

His turn at the snowshoe hare slot machine

As chance and bad fiction would have it, the sky turned soupy the night before Noel

Prompting the Tubby Serial Trespasser to wonder aloud,

"Sigmund, since that whiffer is radiant, to say the least,

How about dragging my fat (deleted by editor) to work?"

So now those loser snowshoe hares showed some dap

And commenced to shriek merrily in their bootlicker way,

"Sigmund, nicknamed Scarlet-Whiffered Snowshoe Hare,

Someone will post this on Facebook!"

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published December 12, 2015 at 5:35 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: A furry Christmas hero delivers the goods ."