THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Payback is good for the soul

The best part of my recent vacation was all the extra time I was able to spend with Mrs. Cool Kid. Being constantly around her is dreamy. It's so ...

Hold on. Wait. Wait. Almost. Wait.

OK, she's left the room.

Now let me tell you what really happened.

Because she knew I would be doing a lot of reading during my vacation, Mrs. Cool Kid decided she would, too. But she didn't like what she had.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: This could be taken two ways.)

(COOL KID'S NOTE: Take it anyway you want, moonbeam. Just take it out of my office.)

So we were headed to Gottwals. "I got some to trade in," she said, opening the drawer of her night stand.

Out came two handfuls of books, which she laid on the bed.

I looked down at them. I looked up at her. I looked down at them. I looked up at her. I looked down at them. I looked up at her.

Those half dozen books were ones I had especially picked out for her.

I had forgotten she had them. I'd hadn't seen them clutched in her trembling hands nor lying about in a tent-like manner as she took a break from the thrills contained within.

"Uhmmm, did you like them?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I tried a couple," she said.

Huey, Dewey and, perchance, Louie! They were all wonderful novels. Three of them -- Ken Follett's "Pillars of the Earth," Lawrence Block's "When the Sacred Ginmill Closes" and Steven Pressfield's "Gates of Fire" -- are among my all-time favorites.

"Tried?"

She nodded.

I decided to be an adult about this.

"You stink," I said.

She childishly ignored me and packed the books in one of our cloth shopping bags.

At Gottwals, she picked out four true crime books and I decided on "How Do They Get a Model Ship in a Bottle." It was 269 pages long. I really, really wanted to know just how do they get a model ship in a bottle.

When we got home, I said, "I haven't read a true crime book in a long time. Can I borrow one of yours?"

She allowed, and I chose "Lust Killer."

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Really? "Lust Killer?")

(COOL KID'S NOTE: Butt out.)

I lay down on the bed and pretended to read for about a minute. Then I tossed it aside.

"Booooorrrrring," I said.

And that's the story of how I won one for the Gipper.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published October 17, 2015 at 4:55 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID'S GUIDE TO READING: Payback is good for the soul ."