The Telegraph newsroom is tucked into a corner of the campus of Mercer University.
Above us are lofts where students dribble bowling balls when our deadline approaches. Down the road are classrooms where students learn how to park in my parking space.
While driving through the campus recently, I noticed some banners with what appears to be a new school motto on them: At Mercer, Everyone Majors in Changing the World.
Which means everyone better minor in filling out government assistance forms.
Just kidding. They’re idealists, praise be.
It made me think my reading guide should have a motto. Here are some contenders.
This Column Has Gone 258 Days Without an Accent
No Hippies Allowed
Will Arrange Letters for Food
A Place Where Read Rhymes With Both Lead and Lead
Like Shakespeare, But Without All the Nonsense and Backward Talking
How’s My Writing? Oh, really? What’s Your Address?
Let This Groove Get You to Move, It’s Alright, Alright
The More You Read, the Closer You Get to the End of This Sentence
You’re Welcome to My Pearls of Wisdom, But Keep Your Icky Claws Off of Mrs. Cool Kid’s Pearls of Pearls
My Other Column Is a Lamborghini
The Fact That I’m a Professional Writer Doesn’t Necessarily Mean I’m Smarter Than You, Just Accordingly
A, E, I, O and You
To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.