THE COOL KID’S GUIDE TO READING: In the newspaper biz, we call these chunky bits

Welcome back to The Cool Kid’s Tattered Shorts. Please proceed in an orderly manner.

OUR ANCESTORS WERE WAY COOL

Boustrophedon text flows from left to right and then right to left on alternating lines. In days of yore -- but not mine, natch -- it was the most common style of reading.

The word’s origin derives from “ox-turning,” because the style resembles a farmer using an ox to plow a field.

It’s a very efficient way of reading. And our ancestors really needed to save and relish every second. They had short life expectancies. As short as someone who spends a lot of time near an ox.

A COOL KID TINY STORY

“A bee. See, Dee?”

“Effing gee!”

OUR ANCESTORS WERE WAY COOL, PART THE SECOND

Women didn’t start wearing underwear until the 17th century, according to Susanne Alleyn’s “Medieval Underpants and Other Blunders.”

In a related fact, The Cool Kid will read any book with both “underpants” and “blunders” in the title.

LET’S CHANGE IT UP WITH A SCIENCE FACT

Despite the distances involved, the sun shines on Uranus.

YOU GET MY MEANING?

I had a discussion about literary theory with one of our photographers recently.

Me: Where are the pictures for the front page?

He: I’ll get to them in a while.

Me: Did you know the word “deadline” isn’t a metaphor?

He: It isn’t?

Me: No. There’s an actual line. And if you cross it, you’re dead.

He: Let me get those photos in for you.

WORD COUNT

The most commonly used English words are The, A, Of and And. The least common are I, Was and Wrong.

LIVING GENRES

Mystery novels are mysterious -- as am I. Romance novels are romantic -- as am I. Fantasy novels are fantastic -- as am I. Horror novels are horrific -- as is soccer.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email rwaters@macon.com.

This story was originally published September 12, 2015 at 8:32 PM with the headline "THE COOL KID’S GUIDE TO READING: In the newspaper biz, we call these chunky bits ."