THE COOL KID’S GUIDE TO READING: A query thing to say

I have read, many times, that the first question fans ask authors is, “Where do you get your ideas?”

I find this apocryphal, and appalling. Yet appealing, in the way the apparition of an appaloosa would be. An apple? For me? You’re so sweet, Mrs. Cool Kid.

Man, that was tasty. Thanks, woman. I’ll get you a new rock for those dainty digits. How does flint sound?

I’m back, O Best Ones. My point is, you can’t believe everything you read. Believe me.

“Where do you get your ideas?” Sheesh and kong. Who other than Rube “Ruby” St. McRubster of West Rubeburg, Rubekistan, would ask that? By the way, do you mind if I throw a third question into this paragraph?

Thank you. May your God allow only gentle rain.

Now let us dispense with baths and showers. And, while we’re at it, conjecture. Here’s the truth from one who has actually been there.

In my journalism career, one both illustrious and illustrated (the graphic novel is due out by Christmas, but you can go ahead and send me $24.95 now), I have interviewed several novelists.

The first question I always asked was, “What’s that on your shirt?”

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email