The Right Thing: Should riders keep their home address private?

Is it wrong to give an Uber, Lyft or taxi driver an address other than a home address for a drop-off if the rider is concerned about safety?

A reader we're calling Ellie asked that question, wondering whether exercising extreme caution is unfair if a driver has done nothing to warrant suspicion. She doesn't want to insult a driver who is doing his job, but she believes it's safer to not let a stranger know where she lives. Ellie wonders if asking a driver to drop her off a short distance from her house is reasonable or is she wrong to pass judgments about a driver she doesn't know.

Ellie's concern about safety seems reasonable. But she also doesn't want to be someone who makes assumptions about people based on little evidence. Is it possible for her to exercise caution while not unfairly judging someone's intentions?

Being careful about safety suggests that Ellie is concerned about taking wise precautions rather than casting aspersions on her driver. When we lock the door to our house, we are not accusing our neighbors of being likely to break in. When companies insist we use two-factor authentication to log on to websites, it's likely meant as a precaution rather than a suggestion that we can't trust anyone on the internet. That Ellie doesn't want to reveal her home address seems to fall more into the category of taking a precaution rather than making an indictment about the character of a driver she's yet to meet.

If it gives Ellie any solace, ride-share drivers often take similar precautions before they pick up a fare they've never met. The ride-share app verifies the rider's identity and some drivers use dashboard cameras to maintain a record should anything go awry. Those precautions don't suggest anything untoward about a rider, but instead seem like reasonable efforts to reduce the likelihood that anything could go wrong in a job that involves driving strangers.

How Ellie asks her driver to drop her off is important. If she simply puts in a neutral destination or asks a driver to drop her off nearby, that's a benign and reasonable request. If she says she's doing so because she doesn't trust the driver when the driver has done nothing to warrant suspicion, that seems accusatory and is likely to offend.

If it gives her comfort, Ellie might think of it this way: When we wear seatbelts we do so as a precaution rather than believing an accident will occur. Similarly, her precaution about where to ask to be dropped off doesn't assume something bad will happen. It simply is a precautionary step just in case.

The right thing for Ellie and other riders is to treat drivers with respect, and not assume the worst of them. She has no obligation to disclose the location of her home if doing so would cause discomfort. It's possible to take reasonable precautions while still treating everyone involved with respect.

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