Shutting down those you disagree with is no way to win an argument — even on gender | Opinion

All of us should agree that it is wrong to harm someone because of their race, sexual identity, gender or religion. Regardless of our differences of opinion, we should respect each other in the workplace, our schools and our communities.

But if we are going to maintain healthy communities and systems of law — and any sense of religious or free speech protections — what can’t happen is for us to silence each other when we disagree.

Recently, the Stanford University Law School dean of equity and inclusion hijacked a speech by federal Judge Kyle Duncan. She encouraged students to leave instead of listen, accused the judge of being hyperpartisan and noted that his words cause people to “feel harmed.” What a tragic abuse of authority.

A wise dean, one who desired to see students learn to make a case for issues important to them, would have encouraged the students to listen respectfully and then exchange in a productive Q&A.

She then would have helped them sharpen their persuasion skills. But that didn’t happen. Instead, she taught our future leaders to condemn and dismiss those we disagree with. That is insufficient.

Social and political topics have always elicited emotion. But disagreement has not always translated into attempts to ruin reputations or careers.

Consider Kathleen Stock, a professor of philosophy at the University of Sussex in Great Britain. After she argued that women should have a right to their own space, particularly in restrooms, her peers publicly denounced her.

Or take Holly Lawford-Smith, professor at the University of Melbourne in Australia. She lost her book contract with Oxford University Press for espousing views on gender that don’t conform with progressive ideology.

This tendency has bled into secondary education here, too. A Vermont girls volleyball team refused to play in a state championship game because an opposing team featured a trans female player, born male. The team’s argument was based in safety and fairness, both reasonable places to begin discussion.

The education authority banned the school from future athletic events. There was no discussion about the girls’ fears; just condemnation and a draconian exercise of power.

In progressive circles — and quite strongly in our universities and corporations — one is assumed to be either ignorant or immoral if they disagree with the progressive stance on gender issues. That is lamentable and destructive. We must understand that disagreement does not equal hate.

Disagreements get worked out when we engage in discussion preserved by the First Amendment. Wars break out when we don’t.

Free speech isn’t just a right guaranteed by the Constitution. It is the means by which government by the people gets done. Like a mountain guide, it keeps us from tumbling over the cliff.

When someone says something that pushes our emotional buttons, the easy thing to do is to react with anger. It is the way of cavemen and beasts. But the way of wisdom — and peace, relationship and community — is to discipline our emotions and engage with our intellect.

I learned a lot of wisdom from my parents, teachers, professors, peers, bosses and writers of books and articles I read. Here are a few of those nuggets that should help us get back on the right path.

First, as the book of Proverbs says, “The first to speak in court sounds right — until the cross examination.” Had the Stanford law students listened to Duncan’s speech, they might have heard a new perspective. A listening ear can reinforce old opinions, but it can also shift minds to new ones.

Second, we are exceptional critics when we are young and before we have carried the mantle of responsibility. More than ever, our future leaders must learn to praise things that are admirable as a compliment to the skill of critical thinking.

For example, while the students found Duncan’s opinions appalling, they could admire his intellect, commitment to his craft and willingness to speak on their campus.

When it comes to listening to understand each other, Abraham Lincoln said: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” I hope you have become friends with a former rival. If not, go get some coffee together.

This story was originally published May 23, 2023 at 6:29 AM with the headline "Shutting down those you disagree with is no way to win an argument — even on gender | Opinion."