RICHARDSON: An examination of me
It has taken me more than a week to sort out my feelings about the murder of nine sweet souls at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina. My thoughts have not centered on the Confederate flag debate that’s sweeping the country or the predictable worn-out conversation over guns. People are going to think what they think whether the flag flies or not. If I were a South Carolinian, I would not want that flag representing me, and if 20-year-old Adam Lanza could walk into Sandy Hook Elementary School and gun down 26 people, including 20 children, and not cause a law to budge, 21-year-old Dylann Roof killing nine in a church steeped in history isn’t going to change a thing either. Mark my words: This is not the last of the carnage we’ll see.
My examination of me skips all of that noise and goes straight to my soul. When, during Roof’s arraignment, Nadine Collier, daughter of victim Ethel Lance, said, “I forgive you. I will never talk to her ever again, never be able to hold her again. I forgive you and have mercy on your soul. You hurt me, you hurt a lot of people, but I forgive you.”
That statement of grace took me out. Could I have said those words to my mother’s killer?
The answer, without a doubt, is no. And that’s where my examination begins.
My Bible says I’m supposed to love my enemies, but just being honest, all I want to do is jack ‘em up. I know I’m supposed to turn the other cheek, but I’ve always figured if they’re crazy enough to slap me once, I better break their hand before they slap me again. I know that’s not the Christian way to think or behave. Forgive me for that.
The Rev. Daniel Simmons’ granddaughter, Alana Simmons, said, “Hate won’t win, My grandfather and the other victims died at the hands of hate. Everyone’s plea for your soul is proof that they lived in love and their legacies live in love.”
She is a better Christian than I. We all sin and fall short, but in this area, I’m a Christian midget. It touches so many nerves. I wonder why we even have discussions about race. Some people can blithely go about their lives denying racism exists. Racism’s corrosive effects are so deeply embedded in this society that it’s easy for them to ignore it. And then something like this happens and it shakes them into reality.
I look at Roof, holding a Confederate flag, and wonder what the debate is all about. He certainly thought he knew what the Confederate flag meant. He was conveying a message that was all too clear to those of his ilk. If it is a flag of heritage, it has been co-opted by hate groups around the world who have no connection to the South -- except to its legacy of terror.
I wonder how someone who has just reached the age of manhood could be so full of venom. And why did he pick one of the oldest black churches to carry out his evil mission? He told us why. He wanted to start a race war. Roof should have at least finished high school. He might have learned how blacks and whites worked together to end segregation. Was it a complete victory? No, there are still miles left on this journey ,and there are still people who perpetuate division. Now, some of them have had the curtain removed and they are scurrying around like roaches with the light just turned on. So much so that the same folks who supported symbols of the old South are turning tail and running away from them.
My pastor, Tolan Morgan, reminds us that God is always in control and that tragedies like this happen because he wants to get our attention. We’ll, he’s got my attention, and he’s got more than a few others’ attentions as well. The slow turning wheels of government are spinning faster than I’ve seen from a group of people I’m used to seeing flip-flop, but never in this direction.
I’ve got work to do on me, and if I could hazard a guess, I’d bet I’m not alone. But the people of Charleston, following the example of my savior, have given me hope that one day I’ll be able to turn the other cheek, too. But don’t try me just yet.
Charles E. Richardson is The Telegraph’s editorial page editor. He can be reached at 478-744-4342 or via email at crichardson@macon.com. Tweet@crichard1020.
This story was originally published June 28, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "RICHARDSON: An examination of me."