RICHARDSON: The Song of Solomon, a sure cure for abuse

The indefinite suspension of Ray Rice, running back for the Baltimore Ravens from the National Football League, tears a scab from a wound that has been around since man appeared on this Earth. No matter the culture, women are treated like chattel -- possessions that are meant to serve men. Throughout history, women have endured unspeakable horrors -- beatings, rape, murder, mutilation. And while we can point fingers at other cultures, American men are guilty of abuse, too. The Rice incident is only unique because it was caught on camera and he was an NFL player.

I was brought up by a strong woman. I was taught, at a young age, that I wasn’t supposed to put my hands on a female in anger. I almost violated that edict when I was 13-years-old. My mother ordered me to baby-sit Baybay’s kids, two girls and three boys, while Baybay and her went shopping. They stepped on my last nerve several times. Still, I didn’t put my hands on the girls. The boys? Well, that was different. They lived and were just as happy to see their mom as I was.

There is no way a man can justify hitting a woman -- period. There is no excuse, no exceptions. It’s not a fair fight, particularly when the man plays professional football. But I don’t care if the man lives in a trailer park and only plays with the TV remote, he’s not supposed to hit a woman as Rice did and then drag her -- halfheartedly from an elevator.

If a man feels the need to hit the woman he supposedly loves, he’s in the wrong relationship. He should step away from the cliff, hum Isaac Hayes “By The Time I Get To Phoenix” and get to steppin’. It’s not worth it. Don’t stop to pack. Don’t argue over what’s yours and what’s hers. I don’t care if she talked about your mama -- just leave.

No man should want to be with a woman who puts up with abuse. Men should want their queens to demand respect. We joke around, saying, “If I tried to hit my woman, I’d draw back a nub” or “I’d have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life.” While all of that is true, what we are really saying is our women wouldn’t put up with abuse and that they respect their women and themselves too much to abuse them. The bottom line, real men don’t need to use women as a punching bag.

I hesitate to give advice to women. I’m not one so I can’t identify with their feelings of vulnerability or their desire to make an abusive relationship work. But I can say that if a man lays his hands on a woman in anger, it’s time for her to pick up the kids and head for the door. All are in danger. Just last week, Timothy Ray Jones, from South Carolina, who had joint custody of his five children, was arrested and accused of killing them. The distraught mother can’t bring them back.

There are people and organizations out here to help. Locally, Crisis Line offers a crisis intervention hot line. The organization also operates safe houses. Crisis Line’s phone number is (478) 745-9292 and it is answered 24/7 365 days a year.

And just a little about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He said the league hadn’t seen the video before he handed down what was at first a two-game suspension. I believe him. What I don’t believe is that no one in the NFL hierarchy saw the incident. And somebody let their boss down and made him look foolish and caught him in the old vice: “What did he know and when did he know it.” Somebody, we may never know who, is looking for employment.

This doesn’t give the league a pass. Rice isn’t the first athlete charged with domestic violence. It’s a long list. Football, in particular, is a violent game full of strong emotions, but that’s no excuse for the league to turn a blind eye. More than a 15-yard penalty is required. Goddell finally got the message. When you threaten these high-priced players with losing their livelihoods, they’ll shape up.

Finally, if a man can look in his mirror and say that he doesn’t know how to treat his woman, pick up the Bible and read any verse in Song of Solomon. Just pick one. Could you abuse someone who has, as Solomon described in the seventh chapter, “rounded thighs like jewels, the work of a master hand,” a navel like a “rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine,” a belly like a “heap of wheat, encircled with lilies,” two breasts like “two fawns, twins of a gazelle,” a neck like an “ivory tower,” with eyes like “pools in Heshbon.”?

And better yet, maybe a man and his woman should sit down and read the Song of Solomon together. I guarantee after finishing the eight short chapters, the last thing on either mind will be hitting anything with the exception of maybe the bed.

Charles E. Richardson is The Telegraph’s editorial page editor. He can be reached at 478-744-4342 or via email at crichardson@macon.com. Tweet@crichard1020.

This story was originally published September 14, 2014 at 12:00 AM with the headline "RICHARDSON: The Song of Solomon, a sure cure for abuse ."