ERICKSON: What a disaster
For five years my family has lived in our home and for five years we have called the county to get a trash can. My wife finally decided we were blacklisted because of me, so she tried to no avail. It was only after our county commissioner got involved that we got our trash can, which conveniently showed up the day he called and less than a week after we were yet again told we were on a list for back orders.
Now it turns out we are also supposed to have a giant recycling trash can. We have the little basket. That took three years for us to get. God only knows how long it will take for the new one to arrive.
What is more, residents are now being charged more for less service. We can only put out one trash can per week. Good luck if you have a large family or a party. Apparently, cardboard is now getting recycled, which is news to the pile of cardboard boxes that did not get picked up last time recycling came through.
To save trash space, you can divert all your cardboard, plastic, glass and aluminum to the new recycling bins no one seems to have. So good luck in the off chance you have a large family, a Super Bowl party, Christmas, or anything else that generates mounds of trash.
Due to the rate of inconvenience we are enduring for "greater efficiency," we might ought to have the county paying us. The county seems focused on the changed times. Certainly that was all messed up the first week. But the whole thing seems not only messed up but virtually unadvertised.
I suspect the voters would have liked a little more notice that if they dare go over one single trash can, they are out of luck. Though, the gracious gods of government have decided, I am told, to make you pay extra if you have more than one trash can. Did I mention it is a 65 gallon trash can? So, too, is the recycling bin that clearly describes a container I nor any of my neighbors have.
If you go over 65 gallons, not only will they fine you -- cough -- charge you extra, but I suspect you will get added to a report that you are a terrible person and polluter and should stop having trash-generating children. Really, just stop feeding the little polluters and use cloth diapers. Also, make sure you know what week the recycling bin gets picked up because if you do not dispose of your cardboard, it is either taking up room in the next week's trash can or waiting. Did I mention it is 65 gallons of government efficiency? It is. Just ask them.
Sure, there will be people who say this would have never happened had not the county and city merged. But of course it would have eventually. Only now it gets to happen more quickly and efficiently so that our trash problems become more inefficient and burdensome.
After five years of using the three trash cans I bought -- all less than 65 gallons -- I guess I will come to terms with this change and sleep well at night knowing that anyone who cannot fit everything into their 65 gallons can get reported on a new confidential tip line the county has set up encouraging neighbors to rat each other out if anyone dares take their trash somewhere else to dump it. After all, they gave you 65 gallons. Be gracious and pay up, suckers.
Erick Erickson is a Fox News contributor and radio talk show host in Atlanta.
This story was originally published January 14, 2016 at 10:02 PM with the headline "ERICKSON: What a disaster ."