COLUMN: We all could use a big hug

I come from a long line of huggers.

We embrace. We pull close and hold dear. We have an open arms policy.

If someone we know needs a hug, we shoulder the responsibility. Although we don’t snuggle up to strangers on the sidewalk, if we do introduce ourselves and visit for a spell, they are likely to depart with a chin mark on their collarbones.

The art of hugging is not genetic. It is generational, like good manners and old recipes. My wife and I have been blessed with loving families. Affection has been a way of life. We try to keep the line moving.

It is difficult, if not impossible, to live in the South without being somewhat of a hugger. A lifetime of social graces and Sunday School lessons have taught us to love our neighbor, which includes both regular and situational hugs.

These past weeks have turned us into unwilling recluses and living room isolationists. We were told to “shelter in place.” We have become shut-ins and self-imposed homebodies.

There are times when I wonder if I’m walking around in a dream. The world has slowed to a crawl. We treat keypads, doorknobs and gas pumps with suspicion and trepidation. We see others with masks covering their faces and wearing gloves, looking as if they either robbed a bank or were cast as extras in an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.’’

A long list of folks I know are suffering from hug deprivation. Senior citizens who live alone. Young families suddenly homeschooling their children while juggling their careers. Folks drawing unemployment checks and worrying about long-term economic duress.

There are restaurants and small businesses who could use a big hug right now. Those on the front line of health care deserve a giant group hug. Police officers, teachers, truck drivers, mailmen and grocery store cashiers all should be on the receiving end our hugs, handshakes and pats on the back.

But widespread hugs are forbidden fruit. What once was part of the natural order of our day is frowned upon. The term “social circle” has been redefined. Back off. Keep your distance. Get out of my face.

We all are wearing invisible shock collars. If you invade my space, my alarm will let you know it. I have had people back pedal when I approached them, retreating as if I recently had been released from leper colony. A man came by our house to get a check for some painting he had done. As I started to hand it to him, he asked me to place it on the shrubbery next to the porch.

For the first weeks of social distancing, the inclination was to hug out of habit. Now we are being conditioned to drive wedges into our relationships. I feel like I need to carry a tape measure with me at all times. If they extend the boundaries beyond 6 feet, I may need hearing aids to carry on a conversation.

I cannot remember the last time I hugged anyone outside my immediate family. Even our affectionate sons have kept their distance, concerned about close contact with parents who now fall into an “older and more vulnerable” category. At first, hugs were reduced to fist bumps. Fist bumps then were replaced by elbow bumps. Now, they don’t come over to raid our pantry. They call us on the phone … out of love.

I should have hugged the young lady who brought me a birthday cake a few weeks ago. She baked it from scratch. It was chocolate and hug-worthy. I told her I would give her a rain check. My mother will be 93 years old on Friday. She won’t get a birthday hug from me or anyone else. Her assisted living facility has not permitted visitors for several weeks. Our niece is having her first baby Tuesday in Atlanta. It should be a huggable moment for the entire family, but it will have to wait. (The hugs, not the baby.)

We are entering prime hugging season. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are approaching on the calendar. Weddings and graduation should be hugs-for-all occasions, but most have been placed on hold. I do miss watching the Atlanta Braves and Freddie Freeman. The Braves first baseman is not just a slugger. He is a hugger. He is forever embracing his teammates on the field and in the dugout. He even has his own bobblehead doll called “Freddie Hugs.”

Hugging has proven health benefits. It reduces stress, helps lower blood pressure and releases oxytocin -- the feel-good hormone that floats our boats. There is no “app” to replace the real deal.

Never underestimate the power of touch. It is one of our five senses.

Hugging lets someone know they matter, because they do.

Ed Grisamore teaches journalism at Stratford Academy in Macon. His column appears on Sundays in The Telegraph.

This story was originally published April 26, 2020 at 6:00 AM.