Searching for balance between order and chaos
These days I find myself somewhat preoccupied with the search for balance in the midst of the messiness of living. Though this search did not just begin, lately I have been more aware of the conflict that it is causing for me as I go forward. I am not sure why this seems to be true at this point. Perhaps it has something to do with becoming 70 years old and wanting to have a simpler life. Or perhaps it is the result of having moved past many of the things that in previous years seemed critical to my overall journey, but I no longer have any real energy in them. On the other hand it could simply be the development of a keener sense of awareness about what is going on in the world and the realization of how much chaos exists.
Nonetheless, this is a subject that is not simply related to me and my small world. Recently while on retreat with my sisters in the Society of St. Anna the Prophet, we reflected upon this very issue. There is in most of us a very strong urge toward having order in our lives and in having things make sense by fitting together and more than anything, having predictability. But instead of order and predictability, we experience life — more times than not — as being unpredictable and often quite disorderly.
In the face of such reality what can one do? What we see in our culture is not a very good remedy. Too often the culture encourages the rush to addictions: drugs, sugar, salt, shopping, sex, power, violence, noise and anything that can help dull the senses and relieve the pressure caused by the chaos.
Personally, I have had to pay attention to my propensity to use work as a way to bring order. If only I can get it all done, then there will be order. The problem with that is the impossibility of ever getting it all done. There is always one more dish to wash, more trash to take out, one more letter to write, one more phone call that needs to be made, one more email that should have been sent and the list goes on.
The hope of finding peacefulness in the midst of this search seems to lie in stopping and standing still. There is a wonderful Native American gem of wisdom that asks, “What does one do when lost in the forest?” The answer is, “Stand still.” The adviser continues by explaining that when one stands still in the forest, the forest will show the lost person the way out. The forest will present order. So in the midst of the chaos of modern life, one needs to stand still. The chaos created by the social, political, economic, environmental, spiritual, psychological and other personal challenges that arise from living in the modern world can best be brought to a place of order where peace can prevail by standing still.
How does one stand still? There is so much to do. There is always that call to the city when the heart wants to go to the countryside or the seaside in search of peace and order. There are meditative practices that can become a part of daily life which can be helpful. It is also helpful to take the time to be silent and move away from the noise of conversations, computers, cell phones and the 24-hour a day news cycle. It is helpful to get off the grid and go on retreats. The intention to honor the search for balance is a major step in finding a path. So stand still until the chaos gives way to order.
This story was originally published April 20, 2016 at 5:34 AM with the headline "Searching for balance between order and chaos."