To understand President Trump, watch how he mourns | Opinion

President Donald Trump has spent decades crafting his image as a showman. The tough-guy persona isn't easily rattled.

There is one exception: In mourning or in crisis, Trump lets his guard down.

Following the unexpected death on July 11 of U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham, 71, the president shared his grief openly.

"Senator Lindsey Graham, one of the greatest people and Senators I have ever known, is dead!" Trump posted on Truth Social. "He was always working, and was a true American Patriot. Lindsey will be greatly missed!!! DETAILS AND ARRANGEMENTS TO FOLLOW. So sad!"

Trump had spoken with Graham, a Republican from South Carolina, just hours before his death. Graham had just returned from Ukraine, where he met July 10 with President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

Graham didn't start out in Trump's corner. He was one of Trump's sharpest Republican critics in 2016, then became one of his most reliable allies in Congress once Trump took office. And more than a political ally, Graham was clearly a friend.

Death, or close calls with it, brings out a more vulnerable, raw Trump. For those he admired or loved, such as conservative activist Charlie Kirk or his first wife, Ivana Trump, his tributes are kind and touching, the words of a man who means them.

For those he considered foes, Trump can be vicious, as he was after the killing of actor and director Rob Reiner and the death of former FBI Director Robert Mueller.

Kind or cruel, these displays of emotion are real and wholly without pretense.

In times of crisis, Trump can rise to the occasion

That candor in the face of death echoes the strength Trump has shown when his own life has come under attack.

After a bullet grazed Trump at a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, in July 2024, his first instinct, blood streaming down his face, was to raise his fist and let the country know he was OK.

It was a powerful gesture. Days later, he showed up at the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, undeterred, and used his acceptance speech to offer a heartfelt tribute to Corey Comperatore, the supporter killed in Butler.

When another shooter tried to take Trump's life at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner in April, the president's first response on social media was to hope the show would go on.

And much like after Butler, his message was one of unity.

"We have to, we have to resolve our differences," Trump said at a news conference, following the correspondents' dinner shooting. "I will say, you had Republicans, Democrats, independents, conservatives, liberals and progressives. Those words are interchangeable, perhaps, but maybe they're not. But yet everybody in that room, big crowd, record-setting crowd, there was a record-setting group of people, and there was a tremendous amount of love and coming together. I watched, I watched, and I was very, very impressed by that."

At 80, mortality is on Trump's mind

Between the attempts on his life and Trump's own advanced age, there's little doubt that mortality is on the president's mind.

Ahead of his 80th birthday June 14, Trump admitted that he wasn't "happy about that birthday" and that "it's not a number I like, but I'm here nonetheless."

That's a very human sentiment most can relate to (at least those of us over 40).

Perhaps Trump's senescence will encourage him to show more of this candid side that's on display in times of crisis, like in the past few days following Graham's death.

If he could, the country would benefit.

Ingrid Jacques is a columnist at USA TODAY. Contact her at ijacques@usatoday.com or on X: @Ingrid_Jacques

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: To understand President Trump, watch how he mourns | Opinion

Reporting by Ingrid Jacques, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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This story was originally published July 14, 2026 at 4:04 AM.