Meet the former Macon reporter behind viral ‘Coffeetown’ high school football videos

On a Friday night, you’re almost guaranteed to find a high-school football broadcast on a four-digit AM station while browsing through the radio dial. These are the games that allow excitement to percolate through small-town communities, and likely to be heard while driving through middle-of-nowhere backroads.

Wes Blankenship has heard hundreds of them through each stage of his life. The former sports reporter for WMAZ in Macon and WXIA in Atlanta covered 12 games a year during a nearly-10-year span throughout the state of Georgia. He holds admiration for the radio announcers who invest hours to take a few-thousand residents, or those passing through, into the stadium with some southern distinction.

Blankenship wanted to blow off some creative steam on a mid-October Friday morning. He’s enjoying the unemployed life after nearly seven years at local television stations, and wants to make the most of it. A crafty-and-witty Blankenship sat in his car after a workout and tinkered around with Tik Tok, a mobile app that features short (and usually humorous) user-created videos.

An idea to impersonate high-school football announcers came into his head. He hit record and welcomed the world to Coffeetown, a made-up high-school football team that has gone viral across social media and drawn the attention of half-a-million sports fans.

Blankenship had a goal to encapsulate the uniqueness of these high-school broadcasts with southern accents, one-liners that almost certainly draw a cackle and a call that leaves listeners on the edge of their seats.

“I’d say the sound of my voice is a combination of all of these hundreds of voices I’ve heard all throughout the years,” Blankenship said in the Sanford Stadium press box Saturday. “Whether it’s North Georgia in the mountains, central Georgia when I worked in Macon or driving through south Georgia on hunting trips. You just hear it.”

Coffeetown made its first public appearance against Dirtville, another made-up school serving as an opponent. In 59-seconds, Blankenship introduced listeners to the star players, running back Donnie Chuggs, receiver Ronnie Chuggs, kicker Bartrez and quarterback Ashley Holt. He looked at the camera as if it were a football field, and called a few plays sprinkled with southern vernacular he heard throughout the years: “let that turkey work,” “man alive,” “quicker than quick.”

Coffeetown lost 42-12 for its fourth loss of the season in Blankenship’s made-up narrative. He did this as an experiment of sorts to see if it would get reception.The debut of Coffeetown created a bit of a cult following. An eerily-accurate depiction of these broadcasts with some of Blankenship’s own humor had people hooked.

Once that first video made its rounds, however, Blankenship took a break from it. He went on to continue his “Back Porch Chats,” which has evolved into the weekly “Back Porch Sports.” Suddenly, he got inquiries for Coffeetown updates via his Instagram stories.

“I guess people kind of like this thing,” Blankenship said. “I never thought it registered to this level.”

Coffeetown made a re-appearance on the final week of high-school football regular season. Blankenship angled it as a redemption story for kicker Bartrez and introduced new character J.C. Bingo. The legend of Coffeetown lived on to the playoffs, and began to gain legitimate traction.

This mythical high school blends everything that is special about football in these one-red-light towns. Maybe it’s somewhere between Thomasville and Waycross, or maybe Hiawassee and Ringgold.

The one-liners make Blankenship’s mock radio calls specific to a place like Coffeetown. He formulated some of them in his own head and said “it works out some weird muscle in my brain.”

Some of the sayings, like “slicker than soap” or “make your teeth itch,” Blankenship had never heard of. Others have origins from Blankenship’s past experiences:

• “I don’t know if you believe in concussions, but I think he just gave him one.” Blankenship had to quit high-school football at Collins Hill due to a repeated pattern of head injuries. Before the time of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) being prevalent, Blankenship would be asked “Are you sure you have a concussion?” He used this saying as a humorous summation after linebacker Nacho Davis had a hard hit in Blankenship’s third video.

• “If that don’t light your fire, your wood’s wet.” Blankenship’s grandfather was a Pentecostal preacher. He would point out a powerful piece in scripture and say “if that doesn’t light your fire, then your wood may be wet.” So, when Blankenship had an exciting call, he shortened that saying with some southern twang.

• “A can of peach Skoal in his locker.” Blankenship’s friend, who shall remain anonymous, sat in his bedroom after buying a can of chewing tobacco. He had a pinch in his lip, spat in a bottle and then his mother walked in. His friend got in trouble, so now Coffeetown’s quarterback, Holt, had to run extra in practice because of it.

Back to the rise of Coffeetown.

The rocket began to launch in Blankenship’s third video, the opening round of the AA state playoffs with Coffeetown winning 32-0 over Copper County. His radio call received attention around the country as viewers from Arizona to Maryland shared it with friends and laughed at its accuracy. Blankenship received a retweet from ESPN personality Ryan McGee, and it was shown on his television show with Marty Smith, “Marty and McGee.”

A week later, Blankenship called the playoff semifinals and the fourth video made Coffeetown go truly viral. He didn’t want to make it a story of sending this mock team to a state championship, because that would be too predictable. Instead, Coffeetown lost to Briarton after being “robbed” by the referees on a fumble on what would’ve been a last-second touchdown. Coffeetown lost, but the hype around it grew.

Coffeetown parody accounts shared it and lobbied for viewers to petition for change. More national personalities shared the video in amazement. Blankenship appeared on a live showing of “Marty & McGee” on Saturday morning — it has 583,000 views on Twitter as of Sunday morning. The Coffeetown hashtag even briefly trended in Atlanta.

Blankenship now has merchandise with the saying “Coffeetown Got Robbed” and a fake school logo. He makes $1 of profit on each purchase, so it’s not an attempt to make money (although he’s nearly hit 100 sales). Blankenship is seeing a small idea spread to those who once had high-school football as part of their livelihood.

“Coffeetown is more of a time than it is a place,” Blankenship said. “... I want this experience to feel somewhat real to some of these people.”

This story was originally published November 24, 2019 at 2:31 PM.