Grammatical wedding a red-letter occasion for Stratford kindergartners

The bride wore a beautiful, white wedding gown with a veil. She had a crown on top of her stringy, yellow hair.

The groom was dressed like an umpire. He sported a thick, handlebar mustache and a purple bow tie. He appeared to be nervous on his wedding day. Even puppets can get sweaty palms.

The royal couple exchanged vows — and vowels — in front of a real preacher. Teachers served as wedding attendants. The 41 kindergarten students came as queens and quarterbacks. They were allowed to bring one “stuffed” guest.

The children giggled and cheered, for this was clearly a red-letter day in the front hallway of the preschool at Stratford Academy. It certainly was the most grammatically correct wedding I have ever attended.

After all, the bride was named “Q.” The groom answered to “U.” The ceremony gave new meaning to an “arranged” marriage.

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death — or spell check — do us part.

The Rev. Joe McDaniel, who performed the ceremony, has officiated almost 300 weddings in his 34 years in the ministry. This one, though, was unique: a pair of words that cannot be spelled without this union of husband and wife.

There are more than a million words in the English language. The letter “S” doesn’t have to have an “A” by its side. The consonant “H” isn’t required to sign a prenuptial agreement with “O.”

But Q can hardly move without its soul mate. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. If U ever left Q, citing irreconcilable differences, then ducks couldn’t quack and teachers couldn’t give any tests. There wouldn’t be any questions.

Even Shakespeare, the greatest wordsmith of all time, would have been in a quandary. Without a quill, he could not have written any of the 1,700 words he is credited with inventing.

Until Thursday, the biggest “QU” on campus was star athlete Quintez Cephus, who signed a football scholarship with the University of Wisconsin. One of his spectacular dunks in basketball ranked No. 4 on a Top 10 list on ESPN’s “SportsCenter” in January.

So, yes, this wedding day was special. Lower and preschool music teacher Jerry Elder played “Trumpet Voluntary” as the bride walked down an aisle lined with flower petals. Rising senior Sarah Kate Sellers, who performed at Carnegie Hall as part of the High School Honors Women’s Choir earlier this year, then sang “Once Upon a Dream” from “Sleeping Beauty.”

If only Q had requested her theme song: “I Can’t Live, If Living Is Without U.”

The ceremony was quick, of course, all of 11 minutes. There was a receiving line and everyone was asked to sign the royal guest book. Sparkling organic apple juice was served, along with cupcakes and cookies.

After a helicopter flyover, the newlyweds departed in a golf cart with a sign across the back: “Just Married. Quaintly Ever After.” The honeymoon location was not disclosed, although it was widely rumored to be Quebec. Or Queens.

The couple plan to make lots of new words and grow old together.

(I should write a note to myself. This would be a good place to quit.)

This story was originally published May 14, 2016 at 4:44 PM with the headline "Grammatical wedding a red-letter occasion for Stratford kindergartners."