We’re all just walking each other home

As old-fashioned as I am — and I consider it a virtue — I still know how to program a DVR.

I also can push the correct combination of buttons to start the dishwasher. Although my smartphone is an intellectual snob, she has trained me to take photographs, listen to music and ask for driving directions. (Without giving up my man card, of course.)

But those newfangled soft drink machines are a special challenge.

There are far too many choices and touch screens. Diet goes this way. Caffeine-free heads that way. You practically need degrees in chemistry and computer programming.

Did I just mix vanilla with cherry Coke? How do I exit the land of carbonation and keep my cool while I try to find the ice?

If navigating the tool bar isn’t intimidating enough, it can be worse when a 12-year-old is behind you, breathing down your belt loops.

“C’mon, dude. Just push the root beer button and move along.’’

This is a story about such frustration.

It has a happy ending.

It was born out of confusion, changed to tears, erupted into anger, then switched to lumps in the throat and, finally, a lesson in understanding.

It will make your blood boil … then warm your heart. In the words of Shannon Kaplan McCauley, it is an example of how a “crummy day turned into a great one.’’

Shannon grew up in Macon and moved back last month with her husband, Josh. They will celebrate their one-year wedding anniversary next month.

A few weeks ago, her mother and sister arrived at her house and brought food from a local fast-food restaurant. Almost as soon as they sat down, Shannon could tell her older sister, Merrie, was anything but merry. She was visibly upset.

Their mother, Nancy Kaplan, explained that she and Merrie had gone to a drive-thru, and she had forgotten to order drinks. So she parked and sent Merrie in with the order.

Merrie had difficulty figuring out the fancy self-serve machine. All she wanted was a Coke and a sweet tea. It wasn’t that simple, though.

She certainly isn’t the first person to get flustered by all the icon tapping, and she won’t be the last. However, it can be more complicated for Merrie than most.

She was born 41 years ago with Williams syndrome, a genetic condition characterized by learning disabilities, developmental delays and a wide range of medical conditions.

She asked two young men behind the counter for help. They later claimed they didn’t understand her request. Perhaps. But instead of helping, they laughed at her.

When Merrie got back to the car, the lids were falling off. She had spilled one of the drinks all over her shirt and was on the verge of tears.

“Merrie is so social, pleasant and smart that we often forget she has a lot of trouble expressing herself when she is stressed, which is exactly what happened when she couldn’t figure out how to work the crazy digital drink machine,’’ Shannon said. “Honestly, I have trouble with those dumb things sometimes. Let’s be real.’’

She said her sister is not withdrawn. In fact, she is good about communicating.

“But she gets flustered when she realizes her limitations,’’ Shannon said. “And, when it hits her, it makes her profoundly sad.’’

ADRENALINE AT FULL TILT

Shannon was angry. She reached for her car keys. Josh followed her out the door, but she made him stay in the car when they arrived at the restaurant.

Her claws were sharpened. Her adrenaline was running at full throttle.

“Don’t even pretend for a moment I was going to stand there being Gandhi and feel really peaceful about this,’’ she said. “I swear I was about to contact every person in this town and tell them never to eat at that place again.’’

Shannon is 10 years younger than Merrie. They have a sister, Lily, who is in the middle and is now a preschool special education teacher in Atlanta. Lily and Shannon grew up watching how people could often be cruel to their sister. She was teased on the school bus. She was ostracized in public.

They are now quick to defend her and are trigger-happy to the sensitivity with which people treat her. As a child, Shannon admitted there were times when she was embarrassed by her oldest sister.

“I was nervous about what she would say or what she would do,’’ she said. “Now I look at it like this: My sister is different, and it is beautiful.’’

Although Shannon didn’t know what to expect at the restaurant, she knew she had something to say. And she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to control the volume.

A manager listened patiently, then handed her off to another manager, who called over the two young men and chewed them out.

“I looked over at both of them,’’ Shannon said. “They didn’t deny for a second that something had happened.’’

There was remorse on their faces. They asked if Merrie was in the car. They wanted to apologize. Shannon told them she was not there.

She said she felt like a teacher, and this was a teaching moment.

As it turned out, it was a learning experience for everyone.

With tears in her eyes, the manager explained that she had two brothers with learning disabilities. Immediately, Shannon’s heart reached out. They hugged each other.

“When she talked about her two little brothers, it reminded me there are people at the beginning of the same struggle my family has had,’’ Shannon said. “She is the real reason all of this turned out the way it did. It taught me to have grace in every situation.’’

That night, Shannon retold the story in a post on Facebook.

“People make mistakes,’’ she wrote. “I think those two young men learned a lesson. I know I did. Even the worse situations can turn into something positive and filled with love. … Be nice to people, no matter what. In particular, be helpful to our friends with disabilities. Teach your children to do the same. (They) are someone’s brother or sister or cousin or aunt or uncle. You just never know.’’

We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. It never hurts to be reminded we are all just walking each other home.

This story was originally published September 16, 2016 at 11:32 AM with the headline "We’re all just walking each other home."