About 3 o’clock on a recent morning, a strange and disorderly display of behavior most bizarre played out at a north Macon Waffle House. The person responsible, according to a Sept. 4 Bibb County sheriff’s report, was a 35-year-old local woman. The woman was said to have gone into the Riverside Drive diner, which sits just south of Tom Hill Sr. Boulevard along Interstate 75, and, unprovoked, threatened to beat some of the workers and patrons. The report said she grabbed a bottle of mustard and a “Caution Wet Floor” sign, ran outside with it and began squirting mustard “all over the parking lot … for no apparent reason.” A sheriff’s deputy showed up and told the woman to pay her bill and leave, but instead “she began dancing and singing in a mocking manner, smiling the whole time,” the report noted. She was also said to have briefly exposed her breasts. When again told to pay her bill and get out, the report said she paid while singing, “I. Ain’t. Gonna. Tip.” The sheriff’s write-up said she walked to her car and “squatting down and moving in a motion commonly known as ‘twerking’ at deputies before getting in her vehicle and leaving.” The report said that earlier in the day the woman had thrown packs of noodles at her neighbors. After leaving the Waffle House, she went to another Waffle House where she reportedly threatened to knock peoples’ teeth out and, upon arrest for disorderly conduct, told a deputy she’d slit his throat “and drink the blood.”
Dispatches: A young man in Macon was arrested in January for allegedly stealing a pistol from his father. The young man, 18, stood before Bibb Superior Court Judge Howard Z. Simms on Sept. 9 and pleaded guilty to theft. The teen’s father told the judge the gun was worth $250 and that he wanted his son to pay him back for it after selling it to someone for $190. The judge asked the young man why he had taken the weapon. “I was being dumbfounded,” the teen replied. The judge informed the teen, “That’s not even the right context for that word,” adding, “I’m gonna tell you the right word … stupid.” Prodded by the judge, the teen said he wanted the cash from the gun to buy sneakers. “I’d love to see a pair of tennis shoes worth stealing from your daddy for,” Simms said. He sentenced the teen to 200 hours of community service. “Cleaning toilets is a humbling experience,” Simms said. “Maybe they’ll let you do that. But it’s time for you to grow up.” . . . The same day, a 32-year-old Macon man pleading guilty to fleeing and eluding, trying to outrun the police in a car, was asked by the judge why he’d done such a thing. “My adrenaline,” came the reply. “That’s a lousy excuse,” said Simms, who sentenced the man to a year in prison.