Intoxicated Georgia woman jailed for cussing. She tells cop she’s Satan

On a recent morning in the parking lot of a shopping center near McDonald’s on Rocky Creek Road in southwest Macon, a Bibb County sheriff’s deputy heard someone yelling. It was a woman. As the woman walked into the lot, she yelled profanities and “(expletive) you!” to anyone who passed, the deputy’s write-up of the Dec. 4 encounter noted. “As I approached her in my vehicle,” the deputy’s report said, “I heard her yell, ‘(expletive) the police!’” The woman, 26, soon took off her jacket, placing it and “a dope pipe on the hood of my car,” the report added. “In the pipe, there appeared to be burned residue of marijuana. By her behavior and speech, I believed her to be heavily intoxicated by drugs. I told her that I was arresting her for disorderly conduct.” On the ride to jail, the woman hollered “strange and incoherent things,” the deputy’s report went on to say. “At one point she said that she was the devil.” She was still in jail as of late last week, being held in lieu of a $650 bond.

Dispatches: A pair of women were suspected of shoplifting at a Family Dollar on Mercer University Drive in Macon on Nov. 30. According to a sheriff’s report, one of the women, 58, “was caught concealing a pack of Tyson chicken breasts on her person.” A woman with her, 46, got away, but not before allegedly making off with a container of Gain laundry detergent. . . . Another shoplifting matter at a Family Dollar on Houston Avenue the same day involved a man in a black coat and jeans. He tried to hide Tide pods in his socks and pants, a sheriff’s report said. A store manager confronted the suspect and retrieved the pods. The manager told the cops that the culprit, who got away, and another man “have been terrorizing her store with shoplifting.” . . . A woman on Courtland Avenue, which parallels Pio Nono Avenue near Napier Avenue, told the cops on Nov. 21 that someone had scratched some words on the hood of her Ford Explorer. A sheriff’s report said “an unknown suspect” had scrawled “I Love You” on the SUV. The woman, according to the report, said she has had “an issue with her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.”

Note to midstate law enforcement agencies: Email reports of unusual situations your officers encounter to Telegraph reporter and Cop Shop columnist Joe Kovac Jr. at