A 25-year-old man who lives in west Macon invited a guy he met online to drop by for sex. The guest, known only as “Almighty D,” visited the man’s place near Ayers Road on Villa Avenue the evening of Aug. 3, a Bibb County sheriff’s report said. “When they were done with intercourse, (the resident) went to the bathroom to wash off and he stated that he heard what sounded like a cable hitting the wall.” The resident said when he stepped out of the bathroom, Almighty D was gone -- and so were the resident’s PlayStation 3 and tablet computer. There was no word on what Almighty D looked like, but the sheriff’s report described him as “slender.”
It was early afternoon on July 24 when a Bibb sheriff’s deputy was dispatched to a report of a person cut. When he arrived at the scene at Third and Ash streets, a couple of blocks south of the county jail, a man there said a guy named “Detroit” had tried to stab him with a knife. The man said he and Detroit had been drinking when their spat began. Detroit, he told the deputy, stuck a knife to his throat and “kicked the (expletive) out of him.” The deputy heard some people nearby saying that wasn’t true, saying things like, “Stop lying. ... You kept running up on that man. ... Nobody touched you.” Detroit wasn’t around and the deputy moved on “due to lack of evidence.”
A man in the emergency room at Macon’s Medical Center, Navicent Health, was accusing people of stealing his money. He later found the money in his pocket. Even so, according to a July 29 incident report, he “continued to use profanity towards everyone he encountered.” He was led outside about 8:20 a.m., where he threatened to kill a hospital police officer. Then he started yanking items from his pockets and throwing them at the cop. He also took off one of his shoes and flung it at the officer. Then he “walked to the sidewalk and pulled out his penis and stated, ‘I’m gonna piss all on the (expletive) sidewalk,’” the officer’s write-up noted. “Several women and small children were walking by and witnessed the incident.” The man was arrested on charges that included public indecency.
Dispatches: It was going on midnight July 30 when a man on Lincoln Street in Macon told his girlfriend to take him to the store for more beer. The girlfriend later told a sheriff’s deputy that they were in her car at the time, but that she told her boyfriend, “No, you had enough.” That reportedly angered the boyfriend. He yanked on one of the car’s door handles and broke it, a sheriff’s report said. He agreed to pay to fix it. ... On July 26, a guy outside the Circle K at the intersection of Riverside Drive and Pierce Avenue had a plastic sack of Hershey candy bars in his hand. A Bibb sheriff’s deputy noticed the bag was from a nearby Rite Aid. The man, 33, said his sister had given him 18 candy bars and he was trying to sell them. Then he tried to walk away. The deputy asked him if he’d stolen the candy. The man said he had, but that he had paid for one of the bars. When the deputy took the man across the street to Rite Aid, a worker there went to the candy aisle, where a box of Hershey bars was missing. The man was charged with shoplifting. ... A woman’s purse was snatched from an unlocked car on Aug. 3, and a man was seen running away. The theft happened at Villa West Apartments on Mercer University Drive, just east of Log Cabin Drive. The possible suspect was mentioned by his nicknames and described in a Bibb sheriff’s report as having “very serious body odor, which is why he is called Stanky or Pissy.”
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Note to midstate law enforcement agencies: Email reports of humorous or unusual crimes and situations your officers encounter to firstname.lastname@example.org.