CREATIVE THINKING: Spread happiness like butter
I watched as the knife sliced through the butter without hesitation. The soft, creamy butter was simply no match for the sharp edge of the knife. Before it even had a chance to resist, it was too late. The damage was done and the butter was evenly spread over a piece of bread. Before I took a bite, I gave this some thought.
I guess my mind was focused on the soft butter because one of my pet peeves is frozen butter -- especially when it comes into contact with warm biscuits or bread. The soft butter lost its battle with the knife and, I suppose if one was keeping score, remaining frozen would have been a win for the butter.
After all, when rigid, the butter is able to stand up for itself in its strong, frozen state as it refuses to be manipulated. Both of these examples caused me to think about how we react to all the forces that combat us each day.
There is no doubt our state of mind affects how we respond to negative actions. Sometimes we are unprepared, feeling vulnerable when unkind words are hurled in our direction. Our self-esteem is wounded, like butter being sliced with the sharpness of a knife. It can happen quickly and without notice yet the pain lingers and the scar remains.
Once words have left the slingshot of our mouths, there is no way to retrieve them.
Last week I wrote about the positive effect of giving praise. Yet negative words and actions can have just as strong an effect in the opposite direction. This is a two-fold situation.
First of all, we need to be more conscious about what we say to others. We need to think before we spew negativity and realize the power our words have on others. We may never give our unkind words another thought, but the person who receives them may never forget.
On the flip side of that, we need to surround ourselves with a strong force-field that repels negativity. My mother always recited the old phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Refusing to allow words to never hurt you is far easier said than done.
My battle with both giving and receiving negativity is something I fight every day. It reminds me of training for a long run. We want to become as strong as possible but realize we still will be tested. No matter how much we train, we can be caught off guard. There will always be barriers that appear without notice. We have to tackle them one at a time.
Negative words hurt no matter who you are; even the strongest can flinch. The other day, I had two back-to-back negative encounters. One arrived in the form of an email. I actually think it is worse to think about something unkind, take the time to type it into an email and press send than it is to just blurt out something negative. In my opinion, premeditated negativity is the most dangerous kind!
The other negative comment I received was in the form of words said straight to my face. I suspect each of you have, at some time in your life, experienced the sort of words that sting upon impact and leave you speechless. Hours later I always think of the perfect comeback but rarely follow through -- maybe that's a good thing. The line that separates negative from positive has to stop somewhere. A response can be like gasoline that only fuels negative fires.
Trying to rid ourselves of negativity is a full time job and one that keeps us on our toes as we try to live by example. We can't completely escape negativity -- no matter how hard we try -- because it is all around us. Every time we turn on the television we are sure to bear witness to some form of negativity in real time and in living color. With just a click of the remote we can find bickering with little effort. Social media doesn't help either; the Internet is more than happy to share negativity with us.
A good place for us to start is to distance ourselves from anything negative or unkind. It won't be easy, but if we all make an effort, we would most certainly see a change for the better. Our actions will never be perfect, but we can try.
In a perfect world, just like the butter, we would all spread happiness.
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This story was originally published February 6, 2016 at 7:51 PM with the headline "CREATIVE THINKING: Spread happiness like butter ."