Ballard: Still learning that patience is a virtue
I walked past the settee in our living room and noticed several decorative plates resting on it. I did a double-take to make myself believe they were still there. They indeed were. They were to be added to my collection of plates that hung on the wall above the piece of furniture.
“How could this be me?” I asked myself. “I usually hang things immediately.”
The plates were presents from my wife for Christmas and my December birthday. After they were unwrapped, I placed them there to hang after we un-decorated for Christmas. More than two months later they are still there. I scratched my head and continued walking.
“What is happening to me?” I muttered to myself. “The Mark I know would have never allowed this to happen!”
For those of you who know me, and my family will certainly vouch for this, I’m usually a very impatient person. Since I was a small child, I wanted everything yesterday. I thought my life would not be the same if whatever I wanted didn’t happen immediately. I wanted instant gratification.
Whenever we moved into a new house, we always painted the walls prior to moving in. In my mind, I already knew where every piece of furniture would be placed along with every lamp, rug and accessory. It took every part of my being to patiently wait until our belongings were moved. Many times the paint on the walls wasn’t even dry before I was hanging paintings.
My wife would say, “Mark, you need to wait!” She was probably right, but I justified the premature hanging by telling her that when the paint was still tacky, it held everything perfectly in place because whatever was being hung was literally stuck to the wall. Like a madman, I worked so that before night fell, the room would be perfectly in place. Then, I would take a deep breath and see if it matched what I had been tossing around in my head for months.
I think Debra realized my impatience when we put up our first Christmas tree together. It was a fresh tree and probably larger than it should have been for the room. We had an inexpensive red and green tree stand. It was the older kind into which you insert the tree trunk and twist the screws into the bark. I twisted with a vengeance while crawling under the tree and battling pine needles and sap.
“It doesn’t feel secure,” Debra said. “Of course it is!” I replied. “Get the decorations. It’s time to decorate!” Like Samantha on “Bewitched” when she went into speed mode, I decorated the tree. Debra carefully added her ornaments while I just wanted to see the finished product.
When the tree was complete, we went across the room to see it. It was gorgeous even if only for a moment.
It started to slowly lean in one direction. I tried to overlook it. Then to our horror, it fell to the floor, shattering ornaments and slinging tinsel. I cried! Over the years when our ornaments became nicer, I assure you this never happened again!
At some point during the long process of aging, I realized that it wasn’t the end of the world to have to wait. In fact, sometimes it is actually better. It certainly didn’t happen overnight but, as time passed, I became a little more patient.
In the midst of trying to hurry through life, we miss some of the special moments in the present. By trying to move quickly into the future, we pass right by the now. Barbara Johnson said it well: “Patience is the ability to idle when you feel like stripping your gears.”
Every day I try to learn a lesson. Every year I try to be a better me than the year before. I certainly make mistakes in the process. But, one thing I know is at 54 years old, I’m much more patient than I was in my 20s. I have to look no further than the un-hung plates for proof.
MORE WITH MARK
Join Mark at Navicent Health’s Peach Road Race and Health Fair from 9 a.m.-noon Saturday at the Medical Center of Peach County. There will be free health screenings, vendors and giveaways.
Mark will be doing a live demonstration and book signing at Lane Southern Orchards’ Annual Peach Festival Saturday. He will be there from 12:30-2 p.m. but fun events are planned all day. Come out and celebrate Georgia’s peaches.
Mark is on www. macon.com 24 hours a day. Videos, columns and articles are featured.
Mark Ballard’s column runs each week in The Telegraph. Send your questions or comments to P.O. Box 4232, Macon, GA 31208; call 478-757-6877; email markballard@cox.net; or become a subscriber to Mark’s Facebook page.
This story was originally published March 8, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Ballard: Still learning that patience is a virtue."