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Just can’t understand that bargain

Today’s vocabulary word is “penury” — as used in the sentence, “Mrs. Cool Kid went on an all-day shopping trip so I signed onto her Facebook account and played Words With Friends and got beat when ‘penury’ got played and now we need a new computer and a new bedroom window.”

She was especially excited about one purchase. It was a hardcover copy of Michael Connelly’s “The Black Box,” one of his recent Harry Bosch books.

Our conversation went like this:

“It only cost a dollar!”

“Where did you get it?”

“Dollar Tree.”

“Everything costs a dollar.”

“It’s brand new!”

“Everything’s brand new.”

“But it only cost a dollar!”

“Everything costs a dollar.”

“It’s hardcover.”

“Everything costs a dollar.”

“A Bosch book. Only a dollar!”

“Everything costs a dollar.”

“Brand new!”

“Everything’s brand new.”

“I can’t believe they sell brand new hardcovers for a dollar.”

“Everything costs a dollar.”

“Just seems strange.”

“Where did you say you got it?”

“Dollar Tree.”

“Everything costs a dollar.”

“Stop saying that.”

I held out my hand.

“Everything costs a dollar.”

She huffed her way to the living room.

She came back an hour later and said, “Sorry I got upset. Let’s kiss and make up.”

And handed me a dollar.

That’s when I told her about the 200-for-1 sale I was running.

It was fun while it lasted

This is my final column. I’ve loved sharing the joys of reading and the nonsense of life with you, but I’m moving onto other things. I hope you enjoyed what I wrote and I hope it matched your shoes.

Editor’s note: My shoes are red.

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