Teenagers are under construction

Think back to your teenage years. Do you remember how awkward you were? How about the changes with your body and emotions? Today’s teens are no different.

Teenagers are quiet, forgetful and sometimes even surly. They consume large amounts of food and sleep all the time. If I sound like I know them well, I do. I have two teens in my home and I have to remind myself daily that they are not little adults and are experiencing monumental changes that affect how they interact.

The physical changes, for instance, are obvious. They gain weight and get taller at a rapid rate. Virginia Cooperative Extension reports, “During a one-year growth spurt, boys and girls can gain an average of 4.1 inches and 3.5 inches in height, respectively.”

Changes in hormones are not as noticeable, but they are still happening. For boys, voices may change and facial, underarm and pubic hair may begin to grow — shudder. For girls, the menstrual cycle begins — super shudder. Boys and girls also experience acne during this time.

Teenage brains also are still under construction and not fully developed. In fact, several studies indicate that teen brains “are not fully developed until late in adolescence.” The neurons literally are not connecting. This under-construction phase is a challenging time for teens — and sometimes the entire family — because it affects the emotional, physical and mental aspects or our teens.

Both of my teens make decisions that are not based on logic, experience or common sense. Mind you, they are not bad decisions, just not well thought out ones!

Now that we are clear on what is going on, let’s look at how we can assist their transitions into adulthood.

Help them to make healthy choices about the foods they eat. Anyone who has been in contact with teenage boys knows the struggle of keeping them full. Foods with more fiber help to keep them full longer. Make sure they keep the sugary sweet foods and carbs to a minimum as this can affect acne. This includes drinks, chips, crackers, pasta and bread.

Suggest calcium-rich foods such as collard greens, cheese, yogurt and fortified cereal to support strong bones. Building strong bones now can prevent bone loss later in life and can decrease the chances of osteoporosis (bone disease). Currently, I buy two gallons of milk per week and a large box of fortified cereal. They are happy, and so is mom.

Ensure teens are getting enough sleep. More sleep is required to do the heavy lifting of adolescence. Research suggests teenagers need an average of 9.5 hours of sleep.

Finally, keep trying. A good friend advised me to continue to plant the seed with my teenagers. She insists that one day the seed will take root and grow. What a wonderful way to say, “Keep saying the same thing, keep talking, teaching and praying.”

I had to pause and reflect how many times my own great-aunt told me the same things over and over. Sometimes it included a good whack to reinforce it, but as much as I hate to admit it, I was then what my own son and daughter are now.

To all of us in the struggle of getting teenagers to young adulthood, take a deep breath, keep up the good work and one day the plant will grow.

This story was originally published March 14, 2017 at 7:18 AM with the headline "Teenagers are under construction."