Ear to the Ground: Kick your Santa soundtrack up a notch

It's that cheery time of year again. Your moose glass is loaded with eggnog and sufficiently spiked.

You're waiting expectantly in the living room, staring at the front door, an elated-but-terrified Clark Griswold exhausted half-grin plastered on your face, awaiting the imminent arrival of friends or relatives, co-workers or in-laws.

Suddenly you have a realization: There's no music soundtracking your Christmas party! It's precisely at this moment that many holiday gatherings plunge into the depths of the mundane. Music becomes an afterthought.

For one reason or another, the default action is to fish out the worn copy of a Bing Crosby compilation, brush off a year's worth of accumulated dust, press play, put the volume on low and forget about it.

Shame on you for perpetuating the boring Christmas party trope. There's so much more out there to be played loud and proud, to send your Christmas party into the stratosphere. Songs about spending Christmas in jail or in the company of hookers, songs about horrible yet amusing holiday tragedies, songs full of double entendre about Santa doing dastardly deeds in your house late at night.

I wouldn't let the old codger down my chimney; I don't even have a chimney. But I do know a few songs that could prove to be a little more entertaining than hearing "Silver Bells" for the 200th time.

Here are few to kickstart your thinking about the party playlist:

First, a little local fare. In 1968, Atlantic Records pulled together selections from their amazing roster of artists for a Christmas compilation, appropriately titled "Soul Christmas."

It's full of now-classics, from the sweet innocence of Carla Thomas' "Gee Whiz It's Christmas" to Clarence Carter's raunchy "Back Door Santa," in which the singer implies that he's a much better qualified job candidate than Old St. Nick. To wit: more presents, more than one visit throughout the year.

However, the true standouts on the record are Otis Redding's versions of "White Christmas" and "Merry Christmas, Baby." He brings his unmistakable style to both, and you can almost hear the party going on around him in the studio.

For the funkier side of things, pull out a copy of the Jive Turkeys' "Get Down Santa" b/w "Funky Jesus" courtesy of Colemine Records. The organ-led instrumentals are dirtier than your crazy uncle's jokes and nastier than a fly in the jello mold.

Follow it with Albert King's "Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'" from Stax Records, then pull out James Brown's "Funky Christmas" to seal the deal.

If you've been left disappointed in your interactions (or lack thereof) with Kris Kringle and feel like a little sloppy rock 'n' roll might cure your holiday blues, reach for "I Don't Believe in Christmas" by the Sonics or "Santa Claus" from Thee Headcoatees. Perhaps your reasons for disappointment can be explained by Clyde Lasley's "Santa Came Home Drunk."

It's hard to deliver presents with Johnnie Walker riding shotgun in the sleigh, but it could very likely be the reason for the misadventures cataloged in Kay Martin's "Santa's Doing The Horizontal Twist."

There's plenty more out there where these came from, and in a world where it's all available at your fingertips -- thanks to the Christmas miracle of the Internet -- there's no excuse to have another party with a lame soundtrack.

Perhaps with the help of these songs you'll even inspire your own alternate Christmas track. And in closing, a word of warning about what not to do: there's a Bob Dylan Christmas record out there in the world -- avoid it at all costs.

Jared Wright is a member of Field Note Stenographers, a collective of local musicians who write about shows in Middle Georgia. He is also a musical historian, curator and archivist. Contact him at fieldnotestenographers@gmail.com.

This story was originally published December 10, 2015 at 5:58 PM with the headline "Ear to the Ground: Kick your Santa soundtrack up a notch ."