June 28, 2014

The Cop Shop: ‘I didn’t shoot myself in the penis,’ man says

It appears national reports of a Macon man shooting himself in the ding-a-ling don’t ring true. The man, in an interview with The Cop Shop, says widespread Internet pokes and an HBO comedy bit, which made public the piercing of his most private part, are mistaken. A Bibb County sheriff’s report of a June 12 “self-inflicted gunshot” outside a Zebulon Road gas mart said that the man, seated in a parked Ford Explorer, had “shot himself in the penis while holstering” his .45-caliber pistol. The report was picked up by Deadspin and the Daily Beast, and it also earned a mention on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” largely because of what the Bibb deputy noted next: That the man, 23, drove to a friend’s house and “when he took off his pants he saw that he had shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out his buttocks. The spent round fell out of his pants and onto the floor.” Everything about the bullet’s path is accurate, the man said, except for its point of entry. “I didn’t shoot myself in the penis. I shot myself in the pelvis,” he said by phone the other day, speaking on the condition that his name not be printed. “It didn’t hit my penis. ... My penis wouldn’t even be there anymore if it got hit with a .45, you know what I’m saying?” He said the gun somehow fired while it was pointed at his groin when he went to stick the weapon in a holster. The bullet, he said, entered about 2 centimeters from the base of his penis. He was fortunate, he added, because if it had gone in a wee bit to the left, it may have clipped his femoral artery. “And if it went a little bit right it would’ve hit my urethra,” he said. “And then it would’ve been hella bad. It would’ve messed some stuff up down there. ... That would’ve sucked. It still sucks, but I’m healing pretty fast. The exit wound’s already healed up. I don’t even feel that anymore. ... I was a lucky son of (gun).”

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