There are many benefits to marriage, not the least of which being eternal happiness and a feeling of stability. One of the few negatives, as I discovered this week, is you can come home and find your beloved watching "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."
And then you get sucked in too. There's no way around it. It's inevitable.
If you're not familiar with the show, count yourself lucky. It may be entertaining train-wreck television, but your time is better spent with such endeavors as sticking your head between a car door and shutting it over and over.
Of course, the popularity of "Honey Boo Boo" - President Obama even talked about it the other night - leads to the obvious question: Has Georgia offensive coordinator Mike Bobo seen the show?
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"I have not," Bobo said this week. "I've heard about it, but I haven't seen it."
Bobo did hear about the sign a South Carolina fan made, and which made its way onto ESPN's "GameDay", and was picked up by a number of web sites. It said "Honey Bobo" and had a picture of Bobo with the Honey Boo Boo hair.
"I saw the sign," Bobo said, with a laugh. "Everyone made sure they sent me a picture of it. I wish I had hair like that."
(What, you expected me to spend valuable column space breaking down the Georgia-Kentucky game? Not bloody likely.)
It's a proud fact for the Macon Telegraph that the family made famous by the TLC Show resides in the Telegraph's coverage area: McIntyre is a short drive from Macon, so maybe they even read this blog! If so, here are some picks for the weekend's big games: Please don't gamble money, but bet all the Go Go Juice you want.
GEORGIA (-26) at KENTUCKY: I like Joker Phillips. I like him a lot. A few years ago, before his first year as coach, Phillips gave me about an hour of time, and was pretty candid and revealing. He seems like a regular guy. But yeah, as far as Joker and coaching this Kentucky program, it's just not happening. Georgia should win this game comfortably, although I think the Wildcats will find a way to cover the spread, probably through a late score. Pick: Kentucky covers, Georgia wins.
SOUTH CAROLINA at FLORIDA (-3.5): Mark Richt said this week that he wouldn't make any effort to hide the score of this game from his players. If the Gamecocks win, the news has a chance to be dangerously deflating to the Bulldogs. But given Marcus Lattimore's health - and Steve Spurrier doesn't usually play games with injuries - then I think the Bulldogs will hear the score they want. Pick: Florida covers.
LSU (-3.5) at TEXAS A&M: Before this season, or even before this month, how many people would've predicted Johnny Manziel would be considered an obviously better QB than Zach Mettenberger? Actually, who had even heard of Manziel? Normally I'd pick LSU to win this, but the Tigers have really struggled on the road this year, and you can't predict how Mettenberger will play. My gut still says LSU, but the more I see how things stack up, I have to go with the upset. Pick: Texas A&M wins.
ALABAMA (-20) at TENNESSEE: The temptation is to say that Tyler Bray and his receivers are dangerous enough to keep this game close, and there's no way the Crimson Tide will beat the spread. But then you recall the words of Western Kentucky head coach Willie Taggart, who called Alabama the NFL's next expansion team. And you recall how everyone laughed for a second, then said: "Actually ..." Pick: Alabama covers.
AUBURN at VANDERBILT (-6.5): A report said Gene Chizik vowed to his players this week that he'd be their coach next year. Which begs the question of what happens to a coach who gives a vote of confidence to himself? How's that work? Pick: Auburn covers, Vanderbilt wins.
KANSAS STATE at WEST VIRGINIA (-2.5): This game doesn't get enough attention in these parts because there are so many good SEC games, but if you can, get near a TV set and watch this one. It should be a good one. Pick: West Virginia covers.
BOSTON COLLEGE at GEORGIA TECH (-14.5): Paul Johnson knows what he's doing. Dumping his defensive coordinator entering not only a bye week, but with Boston College as the next game, is a great way to make your new guy look like a genius. Pick: Georgia Tech covers.
VIRGINIA TECH at CLEMSON (-8): Is it too early to start being really intrigued about how Georgia will fare against Clemson star Sammy Watkins in next year's season opener? Well yeah, it is too early. But plan on hearing about that a lot this offseason. Pick: Clemson covers.
BYU at NOTRE DAME (-13.5): A lot of people are still discounting the Fighting Irish's chances of reaching the BCS championship game, assuming they'll lose either at Oklahoma or at Southern California. But ... what if they don't? Then Notre Dame vs. Alabama or whoever comes out of the SEC will be quite an awesome matchup ... for about 15 minutes. Pick: Notre Dame covers.
SOUTH FLORIDA at LOUISVILLE (-5.5): Meanwhile, Louisville is sitting in a corner, standing on a stool, trying to get everyone's attention to let us know they're still unbeaten too. Yup, and ain't it cute? Pick: Louisville covers.
Mississippi State (-17) covers Middle Tennessee State
Miami covers, Florida State (-21) wins
Ohio State (-18.5) covers Purdue
Virginia (-3.5) covers Wake Forest
Duke covers, North Carolina (-10.5) wins
Last week: 15-0 vs. spread, 15-0 overall*
*-(I was out last week and didn't do a columm, but just trust me, that's how I did.)
Okay, two weeks ago: 8-7 vs. spread, 8-7 overall.
Season: 38-52 vs. spread, 63-27 overall**
**-I did much better at Keeneland on Friday than I have on the college picks, and luckily the picks are just for fun.