This is a test. My test. Call it the “Walker Personality Profile Test.” I first wrote this test about eight years ago. I thought that by now some great university like the University of Georgia would have picked it up, gotten a research grant and built a senior level course out of it.
I continue to wait, but in the meantime, it will have to be my test -- strong on questions and short on answers.
1) You have two light bulbs in your garage ceiling. Both were installed at the same time. Replacement requires a ladder and a screwdriver to remove the cover. After about 500 hours, one of the bulbs burns out. Question: When replacing the burned-out bulb, would you also replace the still functioning bulb?
2) Your shower can be adjusted so that the water comes out sharp and focused or softer and in larger rivulets. How do you adjust your shower?
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3) Steaks for dinner. T-bones. Do you save the most tender part (ribeye) for last, or do you eat the tenderest part first? My wife, Janice, eats hers first, and I eat mine last. What does this say about us?
4) How do you install the toilet paper on the roller: So that the paper comes off the back side or over the top and front? Or, do you care?
5) Dark meat chicken or white meat chicken? Note: A majority of Americans prefer white, although as I understand it, this is not true with most of the rest of the world.
6) Dogs or cats? When I was a child, I thought dogs were males and cats were females. I recently learned better.
7) This one is related to No. 3 above. Cereal and banana. Do you cut up the banana and put it in the bowl first, or do you put the banana on top of the cereal?
8) Panama City, Florida, or Highlands, North Carolina? St. Simons Island or Sea Island? Idle Hour Country Club or yard sales on Saturday morning? This might have to do with money, or lack thereof.
9) Money or looks? This might have to do with your age and experience.
10) The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra or Jerry Lee Lewis? And what if you like them both? I do, but I prefer Jerry Lee.
11) You win a contest and are given the choice of spending a week with Dolly Parton or some of the Duck Dynasty crowd. Who do you choose? (or is it, whom do you choose?)
12) You lose a contest and are given a choice of spending a week with Donald Trump or Kim Kardashian? Which one?
13) Sweet tea or unsweet? Grits or hash browns? Beef or pork?
14) Men, do you shower and then shave or do you shave and then shower? Women, you can answer if you shave your legs.
15) Your daughter gets a swing set from ole Santa. Do you read the plans before starting the assemblage, or do you plunge forward and read the plans as a last resort?
16) You drive to your local grocery store. Do you take the first parking spot you see, or do you keeping riding around trying to get a space closer to the store? And how long do you persist in trying to get a “better” space?
Well, here are the questions. Answer them truthfully, and a psychiatrist can probably tell a good deal about you and your personality. As for me, I’d replace both light bulbs, let the toilet paper come over the top, and I’d spend my week with Dolly! Beyond that, I’m not telling. If I did, I might have to go off for a while.
Larry Walker is a practicing attorney in Perry. He served 32 years in the Georgia General Assembly and presently serves on the University System of Georgia Board of Regents. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.