Diapers, blankets, a stuffed animal, a car seat and dozens of baby clothes disappeared. The items, about $1,000 worth of gifts that were given to a Macon woman at her baby shower, had been stored at her aunt’s mobile home on Houston Road in south Bibb County. The presents were there about a week. But one day in mid-July the mother-to-be, 31, went to get the stuff and it was gone. A Bibb sheriff’s deputy went to the aunt’s place between Allen and Liberty Church roads. The aunt, the deputy’s incident report noted, said she didn’t know what happened to the gifts. When the deputy informed the aunt, 48, that she could be charged with theft, the aunt complained about her niece. “That b---- owes me money and she sleeping with my husband,” the aunt said, according to the deputy’s July 22 report. The aunt said the niece owed $700 in unpaid rent from when the niece had stayed there. The cop told the aunt she “couldn’t hold her things ransom.” The aunt replied, “What happened to possession is 9/10ths of the law?” The deputy told her that if she didn’t return or pay for the gifts that he would take out a warrant for her arrest. The aunt, his report noted, told him to go ahead, which he did.
Some forms that Bibb sheriff’s deputies fill out when they answer calls include a blank space for what is labeled the “narrative” of an incident. In tiny print at the top, the forms instruct cops to “describe in detail how offense was committed.” Those narratives provide the bulk of the Cop Shop’s weekly material, and the best ones include telling detail. You can often get a sense of officers’ preciseness from the reports they write. A good example of that came in the aftermath of an egging at a house in southwest Macon on July 17. That morning, a man in his 70s, who lives on Greenleaf Drive below Rocky Creek Road, took his wife to work. When he returned, someone had hurled eggs at his house. He figured it was some kids next door. The deputy estimated there were two smashed eggshells on the ground in the man’s carport. “The contents of the eggs remained on the carport wall -- and appeared to have ‘run down’ the wall to the ground,” the deputy noted. “Based on my limited knowledge and experience with poultry products, they appeared fresh enough to have been thrown” in the hour or so the man was away. The neighbor said his kids hadn’t been home and couldn’t have thrown the eggs. Even so, the man whose house was egged asked the deputy to deliver a message to the neighbor: “For his children to stay off of his property.”
A west Macon woman who lives north of Mercer University Drive on West Hickory Court called the cops July 20. She told a Bibb sheriff’s deputy that a drunk man there kept leaving her front door open and fussing with her. The deputy noted in his report that the man reeked of “the overwhelming odor of alcohol.” The deputy asked the fellow how much he’d had to drink. “I been drinkin’ good all (expletive) day. You damn right,” the man, 48, said. Then he refused to leave, saying, “You wanna lock me up so bad, huh? Lock me up then, cracka. I ain’t goin’ no (expletive) where.” He was arrested for disorderly conduct and trespassing.
Dispatches: On July 23, a Bibb sheriff’s deputy answered a trespassing call on Tyler Drive near the lower end of Rice Mill Road in south Macon. A man who lives there said someone may have stolen his Panasonic AM-FM radio. The deputy’s write-up said the thief might be a guy who passes through the neighborhood peddling “old meat and fruit that he scavenges from the garbage dumpsters around grocery stores and restaurants.” ... The same day, a woman on Schell Avenue near the Macon Coliseum reported that someone went into her freezer and stole eight packs of bacon. ... Someone found a black-and-white bowling bag near a yard on Spencer Hill Court in west Macon on July 26. A Bibb deputy was dispatched to check it out. Inside the bag were two bowling balls, a green towel and a pair of white bowling shoes. The items were taken to the county crime lab for storage in case someone claimed them. ... On July 22, a woman who lives on Boulevard in east Macon called the cops because someone had written the word “hoe” on the hood of her 2005 Bentley Coupe.
Note to midstate law enforcement agencies: Email reports of humorous or unusual crimes and situations your officers encounter to firstname.lastname@example.org.