A woman authorities say was caught trying to steal $300 worth of merchandise from the Zebulon Road Wal-Mart on May 15 begged not to be taken to jail. The woman, 35, sobbed and pleaded with a Bibb County sheriff’s deputy. According to the deputy’s write-up of the episode, the woman said she was “trying to help get clothes for her son’s prom” that evening. She said she didn’t have “enough money to pay for a tuxedo, ... so she decided to come to Wal-Mart to take some merchandise to help her son dress for the occasion,” the deputy’s report noted. Then her story changed. The woman had recently been banned from all Wal-Marts after a shoplifting arrest at another Macon Wal-Mart. The deputy asked the woman why she’d gone to Wal-Mart anyway. She said she had problems with drugs and alcohol and that stealing was “a way for her to support her habits,” the report said. A store security officer disguised as a shopper said the woman had been in the store “a couple of hours” and was loading men’s, women’s and children’s clothing into 16-gallon containers in a shopping cart. She went through a self-checkout lane, paid for “several small food items” in her buggy and tried to leave without paying for the clothes, the deputy’s report said. She was jailed, charged with shoplifting and trespassing.
A man smoking a cigarette was sitting on the stairs in a breezeway at a west Macon apartment complex May 5. Smoking isn’t allowed there, and a Bibb sheriff’s deputy told the man as much. “I live here!” the man said. The deputy then told the man that he could smoke on his balcony. “I have a wasp back there,” the man, 27, said. The deputy suggested the man call a maintenance worker to kill the wasp. “I’m not ‘bout to smoke in (the) house,” the man said. “I have a newborn. I’m not about to hurt my child with smoke, and ain’t gonna get stang by no damn wasp.” The deputy, in his report which noted the man’s remarks, wrote, “I empathized with the gentleman,” but still told the man he couldn’t smoke there.
An alleged shoplifter was locked inside the ABC Liquor Store. When a Bibb sheriff’s deputy arrived at the store on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard on May 14, the deputy handcuffed the 25-year-old suspect. The store’s owner, according to the deputy’s detailed, typewritten report, said the accused thief tried to “gently, cautiously, and in a sneaky manner” slip out without paying for two bottles of Grey Goose vodka. The store owner locked the doors and held the man at gunpoint until the cops came.
Dispatches: On May 11, a musician at Agape Covenant Worship Center off Upper River Road in Macon was fired. The reason, according to a Bibb sheriff’s report, was “poor performance/rehearsal attendance.” When the musician went to the church to retrieve his equipment, he allegedly assaulted a man at the church and called him a “punk.” ... Someone on Bond Street along downtown Macon’s Coleman Hill called the cops May 9 about a domestic dispute. A woman, according to a Bibb sheriff’s report, stormed into a house and yelled at her boyfriend because of a Facebook comment he made on another woman’s page. The angry woman, who was reportedly four months pregnant with the man’s child, said she was “tired of his (expletive).” ... On May 14, two men who work at The Rookery, an eatery on Cherry Street in Macon, were involved in what a sheriff’s report described as “a heated argument.” When a manager told one of the guys to go home, the guy “became irate and knocked a pan of Angus hamburgers on the floor.” ... The same day, a man with tape wrapped around the bottom of his pants legs went into the Dollar General on Houston Avenue. Someone there saw him cramming about $100 worth of Glade air fresheners into his pants. An employee confronted the thief, who removed the air fresheners and left the store.
Note to midstate law enforcement agencies: Email reports of humorous or unusual crimes and situations your officers encounter to firstname.lastname@example.org.