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How I scored the best gift ever

For her birthday in 2011, Mrs. Cool Kid got a signed copy of then-Auburn football head coach Gene Chizik’s memoir, along with a chance to chat with the leader of the college football national championship team.
For her birthday in 2011, Mrs. Cool Kid got a signed copy of then-Auburn football head coach Gene Chizik’s memoir, along with a chance to chat with the leader of the college football national championship team. rwaters@macon.com

The Cool Kid isn’t writing a column because he’s on vacation. He sends his regrets. Or is it his regards?

Let me check. What? Really? OK.

The Cool Kid sends his indifference.

But I can fill in ably because Mrs. Cool Kid, too, partakes of the printed word. Although like regular folks, I read one book at a time, not 25 or more at a time like he does. We basically emptied a room when The Cool Kid switched to ebooks.

I use the extra space to store my disappointments.

I jest! I jest! I just ... jest. Yes. That’s all that was. Just me jesting. Simply a jest. A jest and nothing more.

To recap — no disappointments. Just a jest.

Editor’s note: You’re starting to sound like The Cool Kid with all that illogically recursive prattle.

Mrs. Cool Kid’s note: You’re starting to sound like he says you sound like. Annoying.

Cool Kid’s note: Zing!

Editor’s note: I thought you couldn’t be bothered to write this week.

Cool Kid’s note: I thought the zing appropriate and well-timed. I shall recommence to binge watching Mrs. Cool Kid’s fine self — while pondering her disappointments.

A jest! I thought I made that clear. Just jesting. Help me out, O Best Ones. Clearly a jest, yes?

I’m running out of space and I haven’t even started the neat story about my best birthday present ever.

After Auburn University — my alma mater — won the national championship in January 2011, the team’s head coach ... oops, I forgot something.

War eagle.

After the championship, Auburn coach Gene Chizik wrote a memoir titled “All In.” In July, for my birthday, The Cool Kid drove me to a bookstore in Peachtree City where Chizik was doing a signing.

Not only did I get a book about my Tigers winning the big one (which they did without all the cheating that another school in the same state favors), I got to meet and talk to Chizik, and not just in the signing line.

You may have noticed, O Best Ones, that The Cool Kid isn’t the shy and quiet type. While I was waiting in line, The Cool Kid found and charmed Chizik’s publicist (it was a long line — you won’t see that many Auburn grads except at a reunion of Nobel Prize laureates). She said if we waited until after the signing, I could talk to my hero one-on-one for a while.

It was my all-time favorite birthday present. The experience, not the book. I haven’t read the book. Not yet.

One at a time, remember.

Editor’s note: Didn’t Chizik get fired like a year later?

Mrs. Cool Kid’s note: You really are a dowager.

Cool Kid’s note: Cat fight!

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