The Cool Kid's Guide to Reading: Skovian deoch? Erlus gel mola

Nalto alleg elxa dal auri. Celean savientraliard whin reim, carceret exla gel daeln drenn. Encanis fela? Schiemmelpfenneg dal aethe vin.

You know what language that is? English.

Those are names of characters in the Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss, a popular fantasy series. I popped some lowercase in there to make it shake.

You rarely find a Peter, a Monique or a Ricardo in a fantasy world.

Can you imagine a Bob staking out dragon dens or slurping gruel at a tavern?

Of course not. Bob eats at Red Lobster. He always orders the tilapia salad, even during Crabfest.

There’s no hum nor drum in a fantasy world. Cutting a swath through spawn is an actual job in a fantasy world.

In a fantasy world, a typical knight is Ser Kutturick of Vochland. He’s 8 feet tall, with hands like backhoes and a sword named Gryphonbane.

In our world, a typical knight is Sir Elton John.

To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240 or email