There’s this thing called Facebook that Mrs. Cool Kid likes. It’s a website that lets you tell friends and family what is up, who is down and when not to come around.
What Mrs. Cool Kid likes most about this Facebook thing is a game called Words With Friends. It appears to be Scrabble, but they gave it a precious name and slightly different rules.
Lawyered it, as we say in the journalism business.
I occasionally glance over and watch Mrs. Cool Kid play while I’m reading a thing called a book. A book is like Words With Friends, except someone made the words for you and kindly put them in a sublime order.
The other night while watching her play, I prankishly said, “It’s amazing.”
And she ill-advisedly asked, “What’s amazing?”
“That you can make millions of words with just 22 letters.”
She ... turned ... ever ... so ... slowly ... in her chair. Glared. “Twenty-two letters?”
And she said, “This better not be like last night.”
The night before, we were watching “Game of Thrones” and talking about our favorite character -- Tyrion, a witty and brave and conflicted dwarf played by Peter Dinklage.
“In real life he’s my height,” I said.
Mrs. Cool Kid thought about it, stuck between a lifetime of the magic Hollywood can perform and eight years of the nonsense I can spout.
“He wears lifts in his shoes,” I said.
She scoffed. “That would make him look taller, not shorter.”
“He puts them in upside down,” I said.
Flashforward! (Or: Flashreturn! Take your pick.)
“Twenty-two letters,” I repeated.
I held up my left hand, spread my fingers and began counting on them.
“Aye, bee, sea, dee, ee, eff, gee, aitch, eye, jay, kay, eluhmenuhpee, cue, are, ess, tea, you, vee, double you, ex, why and zee. Twenty-two.”
She ... turned ... ever ... so ... slowly ... back to the computer.
And after a few moments, she said, “I have two ayes, a sea and an ess. I need a jay, a kay and another ess.”
To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240.