My plan to rip off all things Ed Grisamore -- except, natch, his humane touch -- continues with ... Sunday morning trivia!
It’s a little different from the one by Gris (or I as call him, Amore).
There are no multiple choice answers. Mostly because you, O Best Ones, don’t need them, but also because unlike Amore with his prominently displayed big ol’ doorstop columns, The Cool Kid only gets a tiny, scrunched up itty bitty parcel near the back of the paper.
1. What’s the original Catch-22? (By that, I mean the main Catch-22 in the novel “Catch-22.”)
2. In the last book you read, were the page numbers on the top of the page or the bottom?
3. What’s the opposite of “taught?”
4. According to Dr. Seuss, when tweetle beetles battle with paddles in a puddle and the puddle’s in a bottle on a poodle eating noodles, what’s that called?
And just to stick it to the man, this last one is multiple choice:
5. Which classic Jules Verne adventure takes place 20,000 leagues under the sea?
(A) “Five Weeks in a Balloon.” (B) A receipt from Wal-Mart. (C) “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.” (D) Shoo be doobie do, exchanging glances, shoo be ... doobie do.
ANSWERS: (1) A bomber pilot is grounded if he’s crazy. But for that to happen, the pilot must say he’s too crazy to fly. Of course, any pilot who says he’s too crazy to fly -- knowing it will get him out of dangerous missions -- is sane, and therefore required to fly. (2) How would I know? (3) “How would I know?” (4) A muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle. (5) C.
REPORT CARD: (0-1) Get away from me. (2-4) Dutch. (5) You write poetry on mountaintops with your feet propped up on the skulls of your vanquished enemies.
To contact writer Randy Waters, call 744-4240.