A Bibb County deputy was sent to check on a suspicious car with no license plate. The car, a 2005 Chrysler PT Cruiser, was parked on Forest Avenue in Macons Pleasant Hill neighborhood. There were five people in the car. One of them, a young man, admitted being wanted for a probation violation. The deputys write-up of the April 1 matter noted that the man, 23, then pleaded with him to let him go because it was his birthday. A computer check turned up three outstanding warrants for the man. After he was handcuffed, he grew extremely irate, the deputys report said. The man was swearing and screaming, stating, Yall are gonna have to kill me. Im not going to jail. ... Kill me. ... Go ahead and kill me. After he was locked in the deputys patrol car, he kicked the windows and doors. Another deputy had arrived by then and he told the man that if he continued these actions that he would tase him. To which the man replied, Im ready to die. I have heart problems, and if you tase me Im going to have a seizure and die. The man went on kicking and he was promptly tased. The man immediately laid down and stretched out across the back seat as if he were unconscious. ... (He) began shaking and drooling, the report said. Medics at the scene determined that he was faking a seizure. After informing (him) that we were aware of him faking the seizure, (he) returned to his normal state and began yelling and swearing. He was jailed on an obstruction charge.
About 2 a.m. on March 29, a Bibb deputy saw a man with a flashlight pushing a Wal-Mart shopping cart. The man was in a Kroger parking lot off Presidential Parkway in west Macon. He said he was looking for food and other usable items in trash cans, an incident report noted. The man, 5-foot-7 and about 160 pounds, gave the deputy his name and birth date. The deputy ran a computer check, but the name the man gave him, it turned out, belonged to a 6-foot-4, 200-pounder. The man, 48, was arrested, charged with loitering and obstruction.
A Macon woman said another woman, who works at an Eisenhower Parkway tax filing office, fired a revolver in the air March 24 and pointed it at her after her sisters went in the business to use the restroom. The woman who supposedly fired the shot told a deputy that the sisters were apparently offended and had waited outside for her to get off after hearing her tell a co-worker, Im tired of you letting strays in here without doing their taxes.
A 36-year-old man who lives near Millerfield Road told a Bibb deputy that his brother, 35, smacked him in the head March 24. The older brother had a cut and a bump on his forehead from a blow he said was inflicted when he told his younger sibling to put down his Xbox. ... A woman leaving a Houston Avenue food mart on April 5 said a man grabbed her butt. According to a Bibb deputys incident report, the woman, 23, told the offending man, You must want to get slapped. The man, whom the woman did not know, drove away. ... Two pit bulls reportedly killed a Bibb womans dog April 6. The woman, according to a deputys report, was very upset and stated that she was going to call Channel 13 because we didnt kill the dogs that killed her dog.
Note to midstate law enforcement agencies: Email incident reports of humorous, unusual and flat-out bizarre crimes or situations that your officers encounter to firstname.lastname@example.org.