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Wednesday, Sep. 30, 2009

Photographer captures moments in times of sadness

The nursery has been decorated, and the cake has been cut at the baby showers. There is an infant carrier already strapped in the back seat and a can of formula waiting in the kitchen.

The mom- and dad-to-be are ready for the little bundle of joy they have been dreaming about.

But then their dream turns into a nightmare.

Many things can go wrong when having a baby. The reason why doesn’t really matter to the new parents, who arrive at the hospital expecting to bring home a precious baby and instead end up planning a funeral.

Taking pictures is probably the last thing on their minds.

While attending a photographer’s convention, Danielle Bodony of Forever Young photography in Perry heard about a national non-profit group called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.

The organization was started in 2005 after parents in Colorado had to make the decision to take their 6-day-old son off life support. Before they did, they called a local photographer, Sandy Puc, to take pictures of them holding their baby.

Those family photographs inspired Puc and the baby’s mother, Cheryl Haggard, to start Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, named after the prayer so many children offer up every evening. Thousands of families have been helped through the grief of losing their babies with free professional portraits.

One of those families is Amanda and Rodney Bass, whose daughter, Marley, died in utero and was delivered in July at Houston Medical Center.

“We are so glad that we did it,” Amanda Bass said. “When we got to the hospital and started hearing about delivery options, we were just not thinking clearly. We were hurting so bad. But now I have these memories, things I can’t remember myself because of the pain of that day.

“These pictures give me something to hang on to of my beautiful baby.”

Overwhelmed by the news of their baby’s death and already concerned about the cost of a funeral on top of hospital bills, the Basses weren’t sure about the cost of having pictures made of Marley. The nurses told them there was no charge.

“I was just overwhelmed that a stranger would stop what they were doing and come take pictures of my baby,” Amanda Bass said.

“It was my time of need, and we were blessed by (Bodony). It is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. What a lot of people don’t understand is that, living or not, that child being born is still cherished by her parents.“

Bodony signed up to be a volunteer with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep about a year ago. Since then, she has visited Houston Medical Center eight times to take portraits of dying or deceased newborns.

Nurses at the hospital are aware of the service and approach the parents at a suitable time. Bodony often works with the nurses to help make the baby as presentable as possible for the pictures.

“We want that mother to see the baby beautiful because to her, her baby is beautiful,” Bodony said.

When she was first approached about becoming a volunteer, Bodony admitted she thought she wasn’t sure if she was the right person.

“I said, ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’ I am a mom, and I can’t imagine that pain,” she recalled. “But I was told that I was exactly the type of person that the organization wanted.”

Emotion still has a place, but Bodony said her professional side and training kick in, and the baby becomes just like any other baby she photographs.

“But I always, always, cry all the way home,” she said.

Bodony edits the black and white pictures and places them on a DVD set to music. The pictures are mailed to the parents about six weeks later. A letter goes out first, telling the parents to expect the pictures.

The time frame allows the parents some healing time and also gives Bodony adequate time to edit the photos.

“It can be emotional looking at them, trying to set them just right,” she said. “Sometimes I have to put them down for awhile.”

Bodony is the only photographer who services Houston Medical Center. Other photographers are needed for when she is out of town or at other hospitals around Middle Georgia, she said.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep photographers must be professional and must submit copies of their work before being accepted into the program.

“Most photographers believe it is important to give back to the community,” Bodony said. “Children are our heart. It is important to be on call, to be able to have someone there.”

For more information about the organization or about being a photographer, visit the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Web site, www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org.

It is important to Bodony and other Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep photographers to document not the death of the baby, but the life and love between the baby and the parents.

“They created that life. They loved that baby. They want to remember that relationship,” she said.

Contact Alline Kent at allinekent@cox.net or at 396-2467.