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Sunday, May. 17, 2009

Man up: Part I

As some of the regular readers of this column already know, I’ve been searching for answers about manhood, or the lack of, particularly among African American youth. Too many, it seems, have an idea of manhood that is totally out of kilter with what genuine manhood is all about.

Please bear with me; I’m sure this subject is going to take more words than I have in a single column, so we’ll start with Part I.

On April 30, I attended the athletic banquet at Bloomfield Middle School. The school has a high percentage of students who come from single-parent households. Those single parents are almost always female.

The students, however, who were rated at the top of the heap by the coaches and administration had something in common. Tre Richardson (no relation that I know of), was named Male Athlete of the Year. He has a dad at home. And two twins, Brenton and Brandon Jackson, were scholar athletes of the year; they also have a father at home.

The surrogate father for them all, Athletic Director Danny Grube, was the featured speaker and his message was simple and direct — Athletics: A privilege not a right.

This has been a tough year for Coach Grube. I could tell from observing him that some of the students were getting on his last nerve. Coach Grube has to fill in the blanks for his students who have no father in the home.

For example, it’s probably just me who finds this odd: There were several male students who found it fashionable to leave the label on the sleeves of their new suits. That is not a fashion statement; what it says is the parent is planning to return the suit once they’ve gotten use out of it.

I can’t make this up. When I called over to one of the young men and told him to find some scissors so I could cut the label off, little did I know I was sitting in front of his mom. She said her son could keep the label on if he wanted to. (She’s not supposed to know these things. That’s father information) But she then confirmed my suspicions. She said he wore the same suit to prom and got a stain on it so she couldn’t return it.

Please, ladies, when you buy your young men clothes, don’t plan on returning the items or for future growth. Buy them clothes that fit today.

Another fashion faux pas. Belts are meant to hold up pants. Suspenders or braces are meant to do the same. Do not wear both.

Coach Grube in his remarks made 10 points to his athletes, I’ll cover just a few:

Ÿ Be a good sport. Play by the rules.

Ÿ Give your best effort; never hold back.

Ÿ If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right.

All good points, and just the beginning of the experiences a young boy must know before he becomes a real man.

At that age, if my memory serves me right, I thought my you-know-what didn’t stink. I was so full of myself the memory is embarrassing. I didn’t know that I didn’t know, and like many of the boys at Bloomfield, I didn’t have a father at home to bring me back to Earth, either.

I did, however, have concerned coaches and other men I could look up to. Those kinds of people are still around, but by the time a Coach Grube or Coach Spoon or Coach Copeland or Coach Wright get a hold of them, much of the damage to fatherless children has already been done. And, quite frankly, the good men who are trying to help boys become men are being overwhelmed by the sheer number of boys that need help. And these men are unappreciated by the very parents that need the most help.

There’s more, but it will have to wait until next Sunday.

Charles E. Richardson is the Telegraph’s editorial page editor. He can be reached at 478-744-4342 or via e-mail at: crichardson@macon.com.